Funny stories

[Tum0spoo]

RULES: Self explanitory.

1.A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."
The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife!"

2.After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one nearby. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

[Niko123000]

hmm funny

Millie: hey Ozy
Ozy: hey Millie
Millie: Ozy?
Ozy: yeah?
Millie: I think im in love...
Ozy: with who?
Millie: you...
Ozy:
Millie: whats wrong?
Ozy: its a litle late for April Fools
Millie: isnt today April 1st?
Ozy: no, its april 14
Millie: dang it must have spaced out for the last 14 days

[Tum0spoo]

4.A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". "You don't understand," said the man, "Chunks is my dog."

[Niko123000]

? i dont get it...

Ozy: Hey Dad?
Llewellyn: Yes Ozy?
Ozy: I think i found my Mom and dad
Llewellyn: What do you mean?
Ozy :I mean my biological parents
Llewellyn: Thats odd...
Ozy: My mom is trapped in a computer at her old apartment, and my dad is a Computer geek who trapped my mom in the computer
Llewellyn: you know you just discribed your uncle Macintoshe?
Ozy: i did?
Llewellyn yep he invented a program to let people go to other worlds in their computers.
Ozy: um so he trapped my mom?
Llewellyn: no he wasnt succesful in keeping is conspiracy invention a secret
Ozy: so my dad isnt a computer geek
Llewellyn: no he is, hes just the one who stole mac's technology for the CIA
Ozy: well at least i found my mom
Llewellyn: yes son now follow me to the mind earaser
Ozy: ok da.. what?

[Tum0spoo]

Niko...
1. Llwellyn dosn't call his son Ozy
(leastwise I've never found an instance where he has)
2. The avatar, too big. seriously.