Home Owner's Association Rule Book

[Muninn]

28. The colour scheme of any house's outer walls must be approved by a comitee of the Home Owner's Association before it can be changed.<br><br>29. The exposure of pre-coffee unsightly faces and messy hair to the general public is strictly prohibited. Residents must keep their blinds and curtains firmly closed during such occurences.

[Tom Flapwell]

(We have a few repeated numbers here and at least one contradiction among the rules, but this is the HOA, so anyway...)<br><br>30. Shudders were made to be practical, not decorative. Any shudders that cannot cover the window completely must be taken down.

[Richard K Niner]

*shudders*<br>31. To better identify houses, the number must appear on all visible walls, including those that are indoors.<br>32. For glass houses, the number must still appear once.

[TyVulpine]

33. Any resident throwing a ball around inside must have padded walls covering every square inch. Including windows.

[Miles E Traysandor]

34. All your base are belong to us.<br><br>35. You have no chance to survive make your time<br><br>36. For Great Justice!

[TyVulpine]

37. Any resident caught speaking broken English will immediately be subjected to five hours of hearing Gilbert Godfried talk.

[Richard K Niner]

38 Cars must be parked in driveway at all times.<br>39 Cars on driveway must be worth at least $100K.<br>40 Cars on driveway must be in mint condition.<br>41 Garage must contain at least one usable car.<br>42 This is the Answer.

[Rooster]

43. Any deviation from the "normal" residents of the area will be met with stern looks.<br><br>44. Any quoting of Communist or Democrat speeches and the police will be called to remove you from the street.<br><br>45. No children other than those from an aproved list eg, fat, disabled, odd, or ethnic...these children are not allowed in our white-picket fence utopia.<br><br>46. The reciting of these rules is only to be perfomed with a trained HOA representitive present for legal and medical reasons.

[TyVulpine]

47. Any tone-deaf person attempting to sing ANY song will be shot on sight.

[Miles E Traysandor]

48a. The use of foriegn-sounding first names in any way is strictly prohibited. Immigrants have 30 days from the time they move in to have it legally changed or they will be deported back to the country they came, permanently.<br><br>48b. The same also applies if you have a forign-sounding name, but are not an immigrant. See rule 49b.<br><br>49a. The use of obscure names to name your newborn babby is also prohibited, and if not changed in 30 days, the babby and the parents will be deported to the country where said obsure babby name would be considered most normal. If the babby name is not normal anywhere, then you'll be deported to Antartica.<br><br>49b. The same also applies if you, your spouse, or any children you may have have an obscure first names when you move into this community. You have 30 days to change it or you will be sent back to the city you came from the worst way possible -- On a Greyhound, departing and/or arriving in the middle of the night [If Possible]

[IceDragon]

50) If any home owner is on trial for criminal activities, the person's house and possesions will be inventoried and auctioned off. <br><br>51) Any home owner on the jury of another home owner on trial for criminal activites will be given a letter instucting them how to vote. Failure to do so will result in the auctioning of the jurors house and possesions.<br><br>52) You are prohibited from reading the following comics: The Far Side; Calvin and Hobbes; The Perry Bible fellowship; Opus; Outland; Bloom County; Doonsberry; Dilbert; The Boondocks; FoxTrot; etc. <br><br>53) Coffee mugs that are brought outside or kepy in your house must be 12. oz, perfectly clyindrical, must be one color, and can only hold coffee that has at most 2 sugar packets and 1 cream packet.<br><br>55) Any adult not participating in the yearly Lottery will have been said to won it...<br><br>54) The bringing up of any spelling or gramatical errors, numbering errors, or any contradictions in the HOA rule book will be said to have won the Lottery...<br><br>56) GPA's for all children must stay between the numbers 2.0 - 2.9. Exceptions for lower GPA's include: Football players; basketball players; any student participating in a sport the High school is good at, and is a starter; cheerleaders; popular girls; cute popular girls; popular guys. If a student's GPA is higher than 3.0, the child will be shipped off to camp to become better adjusted. <br><br>57) If Parents beleive that their child is doing better than a 3.0, it is their duty to hide homework from the children, or disipline them for being brainy know it alls.

[IceDragon]

58) Non-regulation fonts, such as any font not arial or times new Roman are forbidden

[Tum0spoo]

59. Any person who orders pizza with anything other than pepperoni, sausage, and anchovies will imediatly be stipped of their delivery privlages.

60. Whosoever uses non-regulation sized squirts of toothpast will be subject to intense glaring.

[Niko123000]

61. Any mention of Mr. M Jackson ANYWHERE within the comunity is punishable by law. the viewing or listening of any music or movies is only to be allowed if created when he was actually black.

62. All new and old rappers must check with HOA officials before making a spoof on him. (this means you Eminem)

63. Any rap music may only be listened to if clean like Will Smith

[Bocaj Claw]

62. No building of windmills without being approved by the Homeowner's Association.