Will give personalized banners for jokes

[Arloest]

Here's Doog's!

[Dr. Doog]

YAY. now i need to open that in the gimp and make it transparent

[Arloest]

Crap... sorry.

[steena]

Okay, a few favorite jokes just because I'm bored and am trying to avoid school work. <br><br>First:<br>A man walks out of a bar and haphazardly walks to his car and gets in, it's quite obvious he's drunk. A police man walks up and says.<br>"Sir, you're eyes look shot. Have you been drinking?" The man responds with.<br>"Officer, you're eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?" <br><br>Second: <br>Once upon time there was a farm and on this farm there lived a turkey who was very sad because he couldn't fly. One day he was talking to his neighbor, the cow, when he expressed his wish to fly.<br>"I wish I could fly to the top of that tall tree over there. But I'm too weak." The cow said.<br>"You should try eating some of my dung. It's full of nutrients." The turkey was skeptical but he took the cows advice. For months he followed this strict diet and he soon found he was getting stronger. Finally, one day the turkey decided to try and fly to the top of the tree. Gathering up all his might, the turkey got a running start and up he went! Beating his wings wildly he made it to the top of the tree and there perched on the tallest branch. The turkey's triumphant moment was cut short by a loud bang and he fell from the tree, shot by a hunter's bullet.<br>The moral of the story? Bullshit may get you to the top. But it won't keep you there.<br><br><br>And finally, no offense to any cat-lovers out there. I love cats myself though I'm slightly allergic:<br>How do you make a cat drink?<br>Put it in a blender. <br><br>

[Amaroq]

Although I already hava a banner, I thought I'd tell this joke in light of all the lightbulb jokes.<br><br>How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?<br><br>2, one to change the bulb, and another to sing about how much he misses the old one.

[VisibilityMissing]

Okay, I apologize in advance to everyone for this . . .<br><br>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><br><br>An engineer, a theoretical physicist, and a mathematician were each locked in separate bare cells for a week, each with a tin of beans and a canteen of water . . . and nothing else.<br><br>When the guards opened the engineer's cell, found multiple gouges in the wall, a small splattered area where the bean tin had finally been smashed open due to the repeated efforts, and a fairly happy engineer.<br><br>When the guards opened the theoretical physicist's cell, they found one wall covered with scratched calculations, a single splattered area where the tin had been broken open, and a somewhat retrospective physicist.<br><br>Last, when the guards opened the mathematician's cell , they found a frustrated mathematician sitting in the middle of the room with the bean tin, mumbling "I define the tin as open!"

[Supersmoke]

I have a dirty joke that deals with a light bulb.

[Arloest]

Then by all means tell it. <!--emo&:P--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /><!--endemo-->

[Amaroq]

I have a somewhat dirteh joke that deals with mathmaticians.<br><br>Have you heard the one about the constepated mathmatician?<br>He worked it out with a pencil.

[Richard K Niner]

Can we <i>please</i> stop making fun of mathies?

[Holyman83]

NO<br><br>Math joke:<br><br>Did you hear what the student said when he found out he had to take a discreet math?<br>he said a Big-O NO <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo--><br><br>Real joke:<br>Sherlock homes and Watson just finish on of their cases and decided to go camping. they were sitting by the fire telling ghost stories and roasting marshmallow when they deiced to go to bed the both climbed in to their tent.<br>In the middle of the night Sherlock woke up Watson "Watson" Sherlock says "look up at the sky and tell what you deduce." Watson reply well I see millions of stars and out of those stars their are millions of planets orbiting them like this one, and out of the Millions of planets I can deduce that their is one like this one that has like on it." Watson looks at Sherlock. Sherlock replys "No you fool, someone stole our tent!"<br><br>This joke is realy only fun the first time or two. my dad used it a little to much.

[Ozy]

Watson woke sherlock up and asked him that or the other way around? <!--emo&:blink:--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /blink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='blink.gif' /><!--endemo-->

[GhostWay]

<!--QuoteBegin-Holyman83+Jan 14 2005, 01:44 PM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Holyman83 @ Jan 14 2005, 01:44 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Did you hear what the student said when he found out he had to take a discreet math?<br>he said a Big-O NO <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br>I can relate to that, having just taken Discrete Mathematics I last semester.<br><br>Another math-related joke:<br>Why do math majors sometimes confuse Hallowe'en with Christmas?<br>Because OCT 31 = DEC 25!

[Dr. Doog]

<!--QuoteBegin-Supersmoke+Jan 13 2005, 10:11 PM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Supersmoke @ Jan 13 2005, 10:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> I have a dirty joke that deals with a light bulb. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br> hehe, i know that one. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->

[Ozymandias]

Take a lightbulb<br>Put it in a glass of milk<br>Put the glass with the lightbulb in in the microwave<br>Switch off the lights<br>Switch on microwave<br><br><br>**I TAKE NO RESPONISBILITY FOR DAMAGED BELONGINGS OR PERSONAL INJURY! PROCEED AT OWN RISK!!!**