Zen Jokes

[Steve the Pocket]

Last night we had a guest speaker at our school who was a Buddhist priest or some such. After the presentation, some of the students lined up to ask questions. When it was my turn I asked, "Do you ever get any jokes relating the Wheel of Dharma to the Wheel of Fortune? 'Cause it seems like that would be a common joke."<br><br>He said, "I can do you one better. A guy goes up to a hot dog stand and says, 'I'd like a Zen hot dog.' 'What's a Zen hot dog?' asks the vendor. The customer replies, 'Make me one with everything.'"<br><br>Think about it. You'll get it.<br><br>"After the customer gets his hot dog, he hands the vendor a $10 bill. The vendor takes the bill and tucks it into his pocket. The customer says, 'What about my change?' The vendor says, 'Change comes from within.'"<br><br>Ugh....so anyway, I guess I'm reaching here, but do any of you know some Zen jokes? (Besides the ones in O&M, of course.)

[Ankaris]

Three men sit on a bar?<br><br><!--emo&:P--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /><!--endemo--><br><br>Interesting idea, can't say I've heard of any though.

[Henohenomoheji]

I shall tell you a joke by not telling it.<br><br>Teh joke'z on youse!

[Ozymandias]

Aren't buddhists just supposed to have alms bowls?<br><br>nvm.<br><br>That punchline is cringeworthy. I don't really get the everything bit.

[Steve the Pocket]

The best way I can describe it is, it's a play on the two different meanings of "make me"...like the "make me a sandwich" -- "poof you're a sandwich" joke.<br><br>"Make me one with everything."<br><br>Get it now?

[Zylo]

Wow...can I get a ROFL sandwich?

[Kles]

<a href='http://www.novell.com/coolsolutions/zenworks/' target='_blank'>This</a> program is a joke. I've used it... avoid.

[Ozymandias]

ah I get it - kinda like the "Do you fancy a sausage roll?" "Yes" "Funny, you don't look like one"

[Richard K Niner]

<!--QuoteBegin-Kles+Nov 10 2004, 10:55 PM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Kles @ Nov 10 2004, 10:55 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> <a href='http://www.novell.com/coolsolutions/zenworks/' target='_blank'>This</a> program is a joke. I've used it... avoid.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br>For some reason, I can't help but think of "Microsoft Works"

[Zylo]

<!--QuoteBegin-Richard K Niner+Nov 11 2004, 07:51 AM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Richard K Niner @ Nov 11 2004, 07:51 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> "Microsoft Works" <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br> Oxymoron

[Richard K Niner]

<!--QuoteBegin-DraganFox+Nov 11 2004, 10:29 AM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (DraganFox @ Nov 11 2004, 10:29 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> <!--QuoteBegin-Richard K Niner+Nov 11 2004, 07:51 AM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Richard K Niner @ Nov 11 2004, 07:51 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> "Microsoft Works" <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br>Oxymoron<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br>Exactly.

[Joe3210]

Indeed

[Steve the Pocket]

The point to all of this was the end of the story, which I planned to give later.<br><br>Well, it's later.<br><br>After he told the change joke, and said something about a Zen vacuum cleaner that I didn't quite catch, I whipped out a notecard and said, "I can see you've got quite a sense of humor. I think you'd like this website." And he said "I'll check it out."<br><br>Guess what was written on the card! <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->

[Joe3210]

It was blank!<br><br><br><br>Or: <a href='http://www.furnation.com/humor/' target='_blank'>http://www.furnation.com/humor/</a>

[Zaaphod]

<!--QuoteBegin-Octan+Nov 11 2004, 01:45 PM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Octan @ Nov 11 2004, 01:45 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Guess what was written on the card! <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br> <a href='http://www.ozyandmillie.org' target='_blank'>http://www.ozyandmillie.org</a>? <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--><br>