Any writers out there?

Tavis · Postby **Tavis** » Thu May 13, 2004 6:29 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (FoxChild @ May 13 2004, 12:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'>  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Tavis @ May 13 2004, 12:16 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> [*]HUD is Heads Up Display.. writing "HUD display" is redundant. </td></tr></table>  Wow, you know what, for pointing tha tout, i should give you some money! Let me go to the ATM machine first, though, ok?  </td></tr></table>  Sure thing! Right after you remember your PIN number!

Bendarr · Postby **Bendarr** » Thu May 13, 2004 9:18 pm

Tavis. and the others, Thanks for the "nit picking". I really appreciate the input. I'll get to work on the changes either tomorrow night or maybe saturday. Much as I would dearly love to make some changes tongiht in all honesty I'm just too exhausted from work and plan on making it a very early evening of things. I would appreciate any further comments by others and I have enjoyed the input so far. Got an idea that I want to through you peoples way, a part of me was thinking while the story is good, it's too short. I'm thinking of an expansion of it a little. the problem is that I have a good ending and I don't want to mess with it. So adding to the front of the story is an option that i'm considering. In the story as written I mentioned that Richard had already scouted out earlier the martian ruins. Should I so to speak start with the scouting out of the ruins by Jake and Richard, and then leading up to the ambush in the desert. What do you people think? Shall I go for the expansion? Keep it the same length? Polish what I have now and then go for it? Like I said earlier, further comments on what I have so far are always welcome.

Tavis · Postby **Tavis** » Thu May 13, 2004 9:48 pm

Well, Bendarr, if you really want to make it a full length story, you could open up with a whole lot more than what you suggest. Maybe you could start even earlier, like to the point where Richard's life becomes embroiled with this Martian conflict. You could mention his trip to Mars, reflecting on his choices, and what led him to scout those ruins. Was it under orders from some commanding officer? Was it personal curiosity? How much of this is general heroism and how much of Richard's conflict is personal? What is the REAL conflict you intend to fulfill in this story? If you don't want to go too far back, you can always start at a later point and fill in with flashbacks as needed. Of course, if you start at a point further back than you did now, you will end up introducing stuff like Jake sooner and need to move those descriptions with it. That might have a good result since the reader would be comfortable with the scout by the time we find Richard at the scene you offered here and it will allow the action to be unimpeded with exposition.

Bendarr · Postby **Bendarr** » Sun May 16, 2004 8:48 pm

What I've been thinking about is a series of short stories detailing the conflict. Sorta like "Hammers Slammers" by Harry Turtledove. There are to ba several sort stories set in a timeline. Some from Human point of view, some from the Martians point of view. I've already decided that the mars described is not to be astronomicly correct. But more along the lines as described by bradbury and other authors. The basis of the martian situation is roughly this. At one point the martians had a relatively high civilisation, they also had rose up from savagery complete with conflicts of their own. However since mars is smaller than the earth at one point the martian central core had stopped emitting the magnetic filed protecting the atmosphere from solar winds. Over a period of thousands of years the solar winds battered mars stripping it of a lot of it's atmosphere and causing the water to boil away. the martains attempted to combat this by building canals to bring water and in a final attempt (through some sort of device ot figured out yet) to get the martian core rotateing and developing the magnetic fields again. But the damage was too severe and martian civilisation collapssed. It has been rebuilding but the martians have discovered that the device which is responsible for keeping the core molten and moving is starting to fail. Thus the invasions attempts. It's a life or death struggle for the martians at this point. Some things that I have determined: 1) a lot of the martian technology that they have at this point is "Found" technology. But they are learning and doing research on their own. 2) The earliest martian tripods (the 1890's versions) were rather organic in composition and thus suspect to Earthling Germs and bacteria. Originally the tripods were developed from a three legged stider beast that was used for transportation during the martians "golden ers". During subsequent attempts less and less of the organics were installed and more and more inorganic in structure. by the time that the present sortys are written the tripods are now immune to Germs and bacteria. 3) Earth does not want to totally wipe out the Martians at this point. Therefore no nuclear devices, no asteroid bombardment. After all earth knows that the martians were invadeing not trying to wipe out humnity and populer sentiment won't allow for total extermination. however wiping out individual units of martians (especially in the early stages) is ok. but no mass slaughter. This can be changed depending on how the conflict goes. ok. What I'm thinking about in this particuler story is Richard being assigned to Jake as a starting point and heading out on the mission. First being assigned to scout out the martian ruins and then up to the ambush point. yes, he would be under order. You've given me a lot to think about as far a reasons etc. Tavis. I appreciate it.

Tavis · Postby **Tavis** » Sun May 16, 2004 9:31 pm

Anytime, Bendarr. Like I said, I too am working on a story. Actually a couple of them, but only one is a serious attempt at a novelization. It too is set in a somewhat futuristic setting, but only just enough to make the main character possible, namely advances in true 3D imaging, force projection, and artificial intelligence among other things. Anyway, the story follows Imagine as it tries to make sense of itself and escape the people of Advanced Intelligence who, for reasons of personal security and the desire to develop it as a weapon, are determined to recapture it.  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Project Imagine story)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Mr. Burke sits huddled in front of the computer monitor searching various log entries and computer records to piece together the location of the missing data. Light grey letters scroll upwards on the screen, pausing intermittently as the hard drives spin wildly to provide it with the raw data. Burke taps a key and the text pauses so he can sip his coffee. It has gotten cold - he is going to have to get Gregory to warm up another pot soon. Setting his drink back down on the desk, Burke presses another key and the text begins scrolling again. A knock on the office door breaks Burke's concentration, and he grunts at the interruption. "Oh no, not Janus. Please don't let it be her." As though it were her cue to enter, a woman steps in holding a manilla folder. Her blonde hair is wrapped up in a bun, and the frustration she projects is barely masked by her prim expression and the matching black eyeglasses that left no glare from the glowing monitors surrounding Mr. Burke. "Mr. Burke, I have been going over your progress regarding the training simulations for Project Imagine this past week, and I believe you are misusing the resources of this company." Before Mr. Burke could get started, Janus raises her hand to silence him. "However, this is not why I am here to see you. Mr. Riles in security just gave me some information that I believe you should see." She presents him with the folder. Taking the folder, Mr. Burke could not hide his disdain any longer. "What the hell is this, Janus? I don't have time to go reading some damn security reports." He throws the folder on the floor. "Now I want you to get out of here and let me do my job." "You can't be doing anything that important. According to your daily performance review, you are falling behind schedule. You have been wasting a lot of time doing file searches when you should be interacting with Imagine. I think I know why." Her expression grows colder, and Mr. Burke turns away from the computer as the glare chills him to attention. "Read the report, Burke. I won't ask you again." Grudgingly, Mr. Burke picks up the manila folder and examines a photo inside. Anger turns to disbelief and then curiosity as he sees the photo of a child running from a security guard in one of the lab hallways. "When was this?" Janus folds her arms. "This image was taken from one of our security cameras shortly after the fire alarm was triggered. Can you identify the person running from the guard in this picture?" "Yes." For Burke, the jumbled puzzle pieces slammed together into one chilling conclusion, a conclusion that could spell trouble either for him, Advanced Intelligence, or anyone that discovers the true nature of the child. Suddenly the reason he cannot find the AI program on the system, the reason the person that broke into the lab was never caught entering the building, and the reason that same person was able to escape so easily made perfect sense to Burke. "I do not know how this has happened, but that child is our Project Imagine."</td></tr></table>

Miles E Traysandor · Postby **Miles E Traysandor** » Sun May 16, 2004 9:56 pm

I've done a few fanfics myself.... the Metronome series [based on a Pokemon move], and MHPA.... neither have been completely finished, but the Metronome series has three full stories.... which are currently under re-construction , possibly to be released as an comedy-action-suspense blend story... but that is, of course, assuming I ever get off of my lazy butt and actually write them, instead of thumbing around playing Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine on my Genesis Emulator [and before you ask, yes I used to have that game for quite some time] I've also assisted in writing my best friend's Immortal Wars story, which I also act as Chief Editor. I haven't gotten around to posting the latest chapters on my dinky website, though. Not that I'm an expert in making web pages anyway -- the stories are basic HTML, nothing fancy. The blue pages were created with some external help from Geocities.

norsenerd · Postby **norsenerd** » Mon May 17, 2004 12:35 am

I write. I ocosaly write a short story and have 5 pages of a fan fic novel writen. I mostly use my writing talents in daily life. Knowing how to say waht you will to your best efect is a good thing and while I'm nto great at it I think I'm good and when I work at it can be great.

erikbarrett · Postby **erikbarrett** » Tue May 18, 2004 5:22 pm

I write, at least a little bit. I'm a rather good editor, if my proofreading skills from school are any indication, but I doubt I'd have much free time for it.

Northern_l33tness · Postby **Northern_l33tness** » Fri May 28, 2004 4:24 am

It's occurred to me that I never really did get around to posting my fanfic sample here. This one assumes you have some level of knowledge with the Redwall series. It also requires you to be a little opened minded, as a few bits may seem inconsistent with the official Redwall novels at first - something I try and address later in the book. I should note this is definately PG-13 for some pretty brutal violence and a bit of cursing. There's a couple of scenes later in the novel with implied sex, but there's none of that in this sample. Note: Not only is this just the prologue for the story, but it's also a draft version. I know there are going to be some changes before I actually release the final version. The fanfic is called "Blood on Black Paws", and an .html file of the prologue should be attached to this post.

Miles E Traysandor · Postby **Miles E Traysandor** » Fri May 28, 2004 2:48 pm

I'm currently developing a large-scale RPG that at the moment doesn't have a time scale to launch. It's based on the <a href='http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/ind ... traysandor' target='_blank'>Nation that I have created</a>, which, in turn, was a city I created in a fiction story that never took off, but is now experiencing a revival of sorts.

Muninn · Postby **Muninn** » Fri May 28, 2004 8:17 pm

I have <a href='http://www.fictionpress.com/~jackfolke' target='_blank'>my own</a> fiction press page but it is in its infancy yet. I'm sometimes cautious about copyright matters but the site specifies it on every work so it's safe.

Burning Sheep Productions · Postby **Burning Sheep Productions** » Sat May 29, 2004 4:16 am

I thought of a story idea that kinda works, but since I'm not a good writer I'll let someone else take it up: There's this town which is on the edge of a forrest where wolves live, and after every full moon the people in the town find a child gored to death by the wolves, but since it's in the olden days where media wasn't so big they didn't get any help from outside places and stuff like that so they're trying to get rid of the wolves with poison and traps etc. Anyway, what really happens is this guy takes children off the street (preferably homeless ones) then knocks them unconcious so he can take them to the woods to kill with a wolf skull and fake claws and obviously the wolves aren't too happy about it so they're trying to work out how to kill the guy whos getting them framed. And yeah, it goes on from there.

Zylo · Postby **Zylo** » Sat May 29, 2004 4:17 am

That actually sounds like a cool idea, BSP! One of the more imaginitive ones I've heard in a while.

Burning Sheep Productions · Postby **Burning Sheep Productions** » Sat May 29, 2004 4:48 am

Thanks! <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> And those poems are really good Jacob! I'll read yours when I'm in a reading mood, Northern_l33tness.

Sabre · Postby **Sabre** » Sat May 29, 2004 7:35 am

three words.. Whoa.

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