How the last Ozy and Millie strips could be like...

[Muninn]

But probably won't. Read on...

Just as Jeremy is about to hit Ozy with a comically shaped deer he asks the bully to look into his hat, who kneels to do so. Suddenly a ridicoulously large monster with warts, eights nostrils, feelers, prehensile tongues and drool dripping fangs pops out of the hat and gulps down two thirds of Jeremy, leaving only his legs remaining motionless where they stood and his hat, suspended in midair.

Ms. Mudd is trying to figure out the controls to the Timulty android (that's on the fritz) Stephen built after the real Timulty was lost in a yet unexplained accident when he was mistankenly shipped off to a furry con. The android lies slumped on the ground with a furry panel at the back of its neck opened up to reveal a series of buttons, knobs and flashing lights. Ms. Mudd accidently knocks the voice control knob to Embarrass, whereupon the android runs around like a suger-fueled six year old shouting "booger".

Meanwhile in another part of the neighbourhood where Ms. Wahnsinnig is handing out socks to otters, Avery loses favour with Felicia when he lays his sweater on a patch of mud on the ground and reveals he has cut his chest fur into a likeness of his face. Felicia flees with haste before she catches the uncool bug. A now naked Avery wearing nothing but a hat chases her through the streets trying to explain.

Ozy and Millie, meanwhile, run away drinking tea and milk, laughing at Jeremy's demise. Ozy asks Millie to keep the incident under her hat. Millie notices a trampoline in Ozy's yard and wants to try it out. Ozy cautions that that's his father's Inter-Dimensional Influx Occasional Trampoline that he said has magic zen powers. Millie tells Ozy not to pay attention to Llewellyn's tall tales, pours soggy cornflakes on him and glues his hat to his head.

Just as Avery seemed to be patching things up with Felicia, the Timulty android runs up to the pair still shouting "booger" and scares Felicia white as a sheep. Unsurprisingly Felicia backs away, leaving Avery to take the annoying machine to the Llewellyn household's moat and push it unceremoniously within, only to get his fur caught on a bit of loose wire from the android and unable to pull it as well as himself up, sinks. He is fortunately saved by Isolde who then knocks Avery into the moat with her tail, for being a mammal.

In time Millie remembers that she wanted to play on the trampoline. Ozy once again tells her not to but Millie ignores him, making disparaging remarks about Ozy's penchant for wearing dresses. Millie runs and jumps on the trampoline and is flung forwards where she rips a hole through time and space which puts into motion a series of events that ends up with Friends never going off the air and thus the downfall of civilisation.

Millie peers through the rip, a la the Flammarion woodcut, into the secret workings of the universe. The countless stars and moons, a myriad illuminations and globes, waves of arcane symbols, undecipherable images and roadrunners. She soon gets bored and asks Ozy what he wants to do.

Millie is telling Ozy about the wonders of Kablammo Cola and how it's caustic formula has been known to cool the drinker by making all their fur drop out when Ms. Mudd approaches them yelling at Millie about how she wasn't allowed to mess with the stability of space and time. The punishment being going to school dressed in a human-suit.

Millie, in a bid to get away, jumps into the rip and pulls Ozy in as well. They find themselves among the previously described world, floating as if weightless but alive. It looks like another universe all together. Millie notices her mom is even more angry than the time she revolutionised art by drawing like Jackson Pollock with her boogers and ear wax. Felicia, trying to hide from Avery, escapes within as well.

Millie is mumbling something incomprehensible about fire and fur but soon learns to enjoy the place. They are confronted by a massive bouncing disembodied breast that bounds to where they are. Suddenly out of this mammary gland emerges Llewellyn, pear shaped and tired, to explain that this is actually the farthest regions of the land beyond the couch, and that the universe is going to end.

Though momentarily shocked Millie recovers quickly enough to slap some silence into a hysterical Felicia. Then she slaps her some more, just because. Ms. Mudd, quite unsurspised, asks what Millie did. Llewellyn tells her that by using his trampoline of ancient zen magic and combination cocktail maker Millie has wrecked the very fabric of space and time with uncertain outcomes.

Llewellyn tells them there is no time left and that all but Ozy will soon perish in a prolonged circus of pain and misery amplified by a thousand-fold. Ozy panics then actually smiles, which makes Millie foam at the mouth. Llewellyn shows him the hat he gave which is actually a "get out of the universe free" card. Unable to deal with losing everyone he knew and living alone, Ozy tries to remove his hat but remembers that Millie glued it tight. He becomes so scared he loses control of his bowels but finally calms enough to say his farewells to the tune of Millie's armpit playing "So Long It's Been Good to Know Ya" in f minor. Their surroundings become more and more hazy until Ozy can barely see anything. It was not unlike the time Millie tied him to a merry-go-round for the purposes of science.

He wonders how life will be like alone. Will there be an empty Earth he'll just wander? Will the memories of the life he lost slowly drive him mad? Will he ever get to express his undying love for Avery, just to piss off the fans?

Ozy suddenly finds himself hovering inches above the ground and lands. He notices some kids playing in the grounds of what looks like a school. Ozy walks in a daze, thinking to himself as he goes, "My first day at this new school... and I can't help but be haunted by fears and questions." His train of thought is interrupted when another kid starts calling him names. Or at least tries to. She finds nothing rhymes with Ozymandias (except maybe ass). He continues to walk, lost in thought when suddenly a dart hits his hat and to his great surprise notices Millie come up to him. He blurts out an "Imagine my relief".

Though it seems Millie doesn't remember him, Ozy is overjoyed that the universe did not actually end but simply that time looped back on itself. Ozy then grimly reflects that he has to go another ten years living through the same things.

[Mista_B]

Spoilers!

D:

Also, DUUUURGS!

[Priest_Revan]

Sorry, but I'm just not reading that.

And yes, it is because it is too long.

[Bocaj Claw]

At what point does everyone turn into Tang? You can't have a trippy finale without a veritable ocean of tang.

[Mista_B]

Sorry, but I'm just not reading that.

And yes, it is because it is too long.

You should at least read the part about Llewellyn emerging from the giant disembodied breast.

[Tom Flapwell]

Hraefn, your post has its ups and downs, but I'll give it an A for imagination. I especially like your reference to the Flammarion Woodcut and the "Get Out of the Universe Free" card.

At what point does everyone turn to Tang?

You mean everyone starts drinking Tang or everyone becomes Tang?

[Mista_B]

Everyone turns into Tang after the giant robot bursts out of the giant human/alien girl's space eyeball. After everybody turns into Tang, Asuka gets choked. The end.

[Bocaj Claw]

Everyone turns into Tang after the giant robot bursts out of the giant human/alien girl's space eyeball. After everybody turns into Tang, Asuka gets choked. The end.

Huh. I don't think Ozy and Millie has a giant robot, a giant creepy space eyeball or an Asuka. Looks like it'll be a tang-less finale after all

[nickspoon]

You often surprise me Jack.

This was not one of those cases.

[osprey]

I don't care what anyone else says, that post was pro.

[VenM2]

ok... strange and long post.

[datherman]

...wha? With the who? And why the...? For what? And the thing with the whatchamacallit?

HUH?

[Angstwolf]

Tang. :D

[rabid_fox]

You know, everyone should draw The Last Ozy and Millie strip and post it in here. Which is what I thought this topic would be. Disappointing lack of visuals has chalked up another blow to my opinion of 2008.

[VenM2]

Well I could give it a try (basing it off Sage's small fanfic)