New Contest! That has nothing to do with drawing!

[Arloest]

The deadline has been EXTENDED.

To:

Whenever the hell people acknowledge that they are actually doing stuff.

Tai and Astro have submitted entries to me (and Tai's is like freaking epic), but that is probably it. Please do not forget about this =(

[Comrade K]

OH YEAH CRAP!

I forgot about this.

[Arloest]

Yay!

I would like to have 12 entries in all. It would make this very interesting. It might take a while, yeah, but really it is not that bad.

I should reiterate that these do not have to be novels or anything. It can be just a really awesome small paragraph, if you can manage it okay. Hell, Astro's entry was a single sentence, but it was extremely creative. Not that I am encouraging shorter entries, just that they will be easily accepted.

[Baconsticks]

I'll think of something.

[rabid_fox]

Am I still disqualified, or did I make that up?

[Arloest]

Rabid fox is more than qualified.

[Tai]

a Writer's life is a hard life

[rabid_fox]

Paraqualified. I shall attempt to carve something from the granite monolith of inspiration.

[Baconsticks]

I'm working on something right now.

[Tai]

I await more people to POST something


so i can WIN already

[Arloest]

Meh. Time is up. It's been far too long.

Here's what was entered so far.

Klimt's

There is a small, Unnamed mental hospital, in a small town somewhere in canada. in it

there is a man, who beleives himself king. He also beleives he is visiting a zoo

occasionally.

"theres headphones on that walrus!"
"no there isnt, look again"

It was true. there was no headphones on that walrus. In fact, there wasnt even a walrus.

The existence of the second person is a sure thing, thankfully. Had he not been, the

kings life would have been much more difficult.

The other person was mark kentucky a fairly sane resident at the hospital who had

attached himself to the king of canadia early on. Reasoning that a king could make a good

friend. That he wasnt made little difference,

The King had been locked up in this hospital a long time. He didnt mind it, really. Three

square meals a day, a conveniently placed bathroom, and what were those nice nurses going

to do about his comments? Certainly not have him locked up.

"In truth" mark had said to him "this place must be a much easier life than the trying

business of running canadia."
"yes, i think that cute new nurse likes me"
" when the only other patient she works with is that ridiculous Lion King, A man as

sociable as you would be a dream"

They thought they were in a normal hospital, and accepted there own insanity without

question. Other patients they could see had problems and did not hesitate to laugh at

them in private. The men who beleived themselves kings in the hospital had the least

respect for there supposed fellows. Of our lion king, it was often wondered how a man

could beleive himself king of a beast. The king of canadia was thought of with as much

disdain. For how could a man be a king of a country that does not exist.

The king ward was fairly small but kings and people who beleive themselves to be one

require more attention than others. The amount of effort required to convince them on a

near daily basis that there beds were in fact fit for a king, and they would not receive

more pillows was absurd. Naturally, it became a proving ground for the new employees.

Should the new employees survive the first 3 months they would be given their choice of

people to work with. Whatever the reason, a few would chose to remain. These strong men

and women had the utmost respect from their peers. If they never realized they were

thought of as only mildly saner than their patients, it was all the better.

All in all, that section of the hospital was interesting, and many stories occured

within. That is a story for another day.

Tai's

This story will make a lot more sense if you have been in the IRC for awhile. It doesn't make much sense either way.


* * *


Javs furried Tai out of deep concentration. "tai...Tai?"


Tai took off his headphones, and looked up at Javs. "What do you want?"

"...why are you watching The Lion King?"

Tai got up. "We've been oppressed by the Illuminati far too long. I need to acquire the Sodium Walrus from King Jacen's throne. I've been reading and watching all sorts of material on aggressive takeovers. I've read up on Sun Tzu, Sherman, Alexander, Napoleon, and many others. I need to know what to do and what not to do. But to beat the King of Canadia and his cronies, I need to study the little guys too. Now, see, Simba had it all wrong when he let himself get cornered in that canyon, but look at how well he did. He wizened up and turned Scar's hyenas against him, obviously taking advantage of the current socioeconomical crises and turning the caste members against each other."

Javs looked interested. "Brilliant! But how are you going to do this? Have you learned enough to overpower King Jacen?"

Tai shrugged. "We're going to have to do this together. If Jacen controls the Sodium Walrus, we'll continue to have to run 10 miles a day. Him and Most Arlo, who lives in Kentucky or Vermont or one of those other states."

Javs shrugged. "Fritz reports that Queen Meep Meep resides in his very own Texas. We can swing by and meet up with him there, and lay siege to Empress Meep's domain."

Walking out the door, Tai looked at Javs over a shoulder. "Let's go."

* * *

We arrived in Texas later, after overcoming the 7-headed Bakersfield dragon. Fritz was marching around an oil well, playing a saxophone while making 90 degree turns. Fritz saw us, and waved. "Hay guise!"

Tai waved back. "Haaaaaaay"

Javs walked up and furried Fritz. "Are you ready to defeat Queen Meep Meep?"

Fritz hesitated. "I don't know, Queen Meep Meep is pretty awesome."

Tai looked at my feet. "I know, I know. But she has allied herself with Jacen, and therefore we must attempt to shatter her Symbol of Power to weaken Jacen's grip. It'll go easier if we can shatter her Ampersand of Angela's Angst."

Fritz bounded off. 'Her dominion is this way, if we hurry we can get there before dark."

Javs took off his brown, velvety coat. It was spotted with white, and had a short, fluffy coattail. Carrying it, he remarked, "It's far too hot to wear this here."

Tai removed his headphones and stuffed them into a lining pocket.

Fritz cocked his head. "What were you listening to?"


Tai held up the jack end of the headphones, unplugged. "Nothing."


* * *

Arriving at the Palace of Most Arlo, the three of them peered from behind a few bushes. Fritz turned back as Tai explained, "Ok, so when we go in, I'll take the second floor, you two sniff around the first floor."

As Tai headed up a story, Javs and Fritz poked around downstairs, digging though cordial cherry wrappers and old Chinese-food takeout boxes. Javs turned to Fritz. "So, why ARE you joining our merry band against King Jacen? What wrath hath he wroth on thee?"


Fritz overturned a stack of Agalloch CDs. "He deletes my posts and signatures. For this, DEATH. Jas^o^n must feel DEATH."


At that point, the two of them heard a screeching !KICK TAI. Tai was blasted down the flight of stairs, and landing on the landing, Tai landed.


At this point, a twenty-something female wearing a feathered boa appeared at the top. "Oh no you DI'NT just try to steal ops from me. !KICK TAI"


At the other point, Tai was launched another ten feet away. Arloest bounced down the stairs and took Javs by the collar of his deerskin coat. Javs grabbed at the hand; "Get your dirrrrrrty paws off my coat!"


Arlo glared up. "Why don't you make a PIZZA about it? !KICK TAI"


Tai flew off again, colliding with Javs. Fritz tried kicking Arlo, but she sidestepped and punched Fritz in the face. He did not die this time.


Empress Meep laughed. "All of you aren't any match for me!" She proceeded to run outside, but stopped briefly after colliding with a duck. As the feathers cleared and the duck flew away with quacks of "O PATO", a shaggy male in a tiger-striped gray coat appeared in the moonlight. With a puff of herbal smoke, jent settled down, and chanted, "sudo rm / ". jent proceeded to walk off into the sunset.


At once, the ampersand sitting on the pedistal made from Iron Maiden CDs shattered into a dozen fragments. Arloest screamed out once more, "!KICK TAI", but no butt-bruising force of mind came. She screamed again, "!KICK TAI", but nothing.


Fritz yelled out, "She's still dangerous! We have to keep up until sundown!"


Javs swung a small dog at Arloest, but all the yipping pup managed to do was fly though the air. Arloest still ran about, evading, baiting, throwing stale bread crust at the trio.


Tai gasped in woe. "Oh no, crust!"

Out of nowhere, a fuzzy blur came and kicked Arloest in the ribs. She fell awkwardly and tumbled three or four or five times. Tai looked up and saw Spray, the last one standing out of everyone. Tai choked out, "Spray...thanks for saving - "

An axe kick to Tai's solar plexus choked off the thankful reply. " >:@ why couldn't you wait until sundown to attack, when Queen Meep Meep loses her running powers?"

Fritz stepped in. "How could we have known?"

Spray looked away. "It doesn't matter anymore. You three get out, or you'll never make it to the King of Canadia." Spray kicked Tai in the kidneys once more, then looked back at Javs.

Javs nodded at Spray. "Thank you." Picking up the broken pieces of Tai's life, Fritz and Javs scuttled off.


Spray turned back and faced the rising Arloest, seething with RAGE and ANGST. Spray inclined his head half a degree. "Do you have any last requests?"

With a meep meep, Arloest growled, "A hint of sardine, a need for love...a taste of BLOOD." Running circles around him, Arloest assaulted the poor Spray with sharp bread crumbs. Spray crumpled on the ground.

Suddenly, a coyote howled in the distance. The last rays of daylight had retreated behind the horizon, and Arloest decelerated to a fraction of her speed. Spray, who had curled up to save his legs, ran into the dark.

Arloest tried to pursue, but she just couldn't run at night. Her last words echoed in the tropical climate air.

"STOP"

"LEAVING"

* * *



Fritz turned around, carrying a dustbin full of Tai. "Where now?"

Javs shrugged. "We're going to have to go back to Ohio, so it's back though Kentucky. Liz is over there somewhere."


Just then, a shadowy, cloaked figure dropped in from the sky. Black, streamlined feathers made up his coat, covered in blue stones with intaglio writing. Hraefn was the main word repeated over and over, but other words like "Jack" "Kenya" and "Barth. G." were intermingled.


Who is this cloaked figure? Is he for or against our heroes' journey to the King of Canadia? And why would a walrus be in Canadia? Tune in NEXT TIME (if i make it to the next round^________^)

Astro's

If a conga kinda had no sheep, slur "Aw, Yuck," Kent, like nothing.

Unless you want to COMPETE with these, of course.

[Tai]

I must say, Astro's entry is GENIUS










GENIUS

[Fritz]

I vote for astro's

[Baconsticks]

Astro's.

[rabid_fox]

Astro's. It's glorious.