All To Do With Cherry Sours And Nothing To Do With You

[osprey]

O. M. G. That is the longest post I have EVER seen. And I read most of it! (CANUCKS!!!!) Props for having the patience to write that!

[Baconsticks]

A post of such length and quality can only deserve one answer:



tl;dr.

[Hanging Tree]

So is this a suicide note or what?

[Baconsticks]

So is this a suicide note or what?

I think we all wish it was.

[Steve the Pocket]

BEST. POST. EVER.

REPLYING IN HISTORIC THREAD.

LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES.

Arloest, don't ever change. Don't ever leave us. Don't ever drink and drive. Stay classy. Like San Diego. Octan out.

[Muninn]

Egads that's long. Unfortunately I don't forsee a Pogo avatar in my future.

[Arloest]

A post of such length and quality can only deserve one answer:



tl;dr.

Unoriginal, boring and predictable. Baconsticks fails yet again.

[Llewthepoet]

Asteriskboy86: Of every single type of post on here, your posts stick out the mosts. If I ever see a question in bold type following a statement, I will always think of you.

She thinks of me.

Not You!

Not You!

Not You!

Definitely Not You!

ME!!!

How Does That Make You Feel?

Angry! I don't like you!

Angela is a meanie!

Where is my time machine?

[MandoAndy]

...wow, that post was EPIC.

I can't believe I got a shout out! Thank you for the remarks on my music making. =)

All I can say in return, is "thank you!" and "your avatar makes me happy in ways I can't even begin to describe."

[Arloest]

Asteriskboy86: Of every single type of post on here, your posts stick out the mosts. If I ever see a question in bold type following a statement, I will always think of you.

She thinks of me. :mrgreen:

:marty: Not You!

:millie: Not You!

:ozy: Not You!

:locke: Definitely Not You!

ME!!!

How Does That Make You Feel?

Angry! :evil: I don't like you!

Angela is a meanie!

Where is my time machine?

This made me burst out in laughter. Congrats. It is legitimately hard to make me laugh, especially over the internet.

[Holyman83]

Wow, you did break the physics of the internet Arloest. That is the longest post I have ever read! That was also a very sweet post to make.

[A dude named Vince]

Wow, that took me a long time read, even if I did skip some of it. Also.... BEST, POST, EVAR. And never let anyone tell you otherwise!

[Baconsticks]

A post of such length and quality can only deserve one answer:



tl;dr.

Unoriginal, boring and predictable. Baconsticks fails yet again.

I see.

[Tai]

Hello, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Angela Welch, I am 23 years old and getting a Master's at Rice Univerisity. I also go by the screen name "Arloest", as you have already probably gathered. I started posting on the internet when I was 16 years old, in November of 2001, at a place called c8world, which is gone now. I became a moderator at c8world within the first 5 months or so, and was eventually promoted to administrator but was demoted back to a regular member within 3 days. This is probably because I edited everyone's posts and pants with all of the forum skins. I would consider it an injustice anyway.

I posted there for years. One day, a long haired user named Ian pointed out a webcomic named Ozy and Millie, sometime in October of 2003. The strip was in reruns at the time, but I liked it anyway. Sometime in November of 2003, I found this place and started lurking. I didn't actually join until January of 2004, where I was relatively anonymous, and remain relatively anonymous to this day. At least, so I am told.

I have occasionally ventured into other forums, such as Six Flags Houston, the Iron Maiden Forums, and Smosh, but this is my main forum, at least when c8world went dead. So here I am today. And I must say, all of the time I have spent not only at this board, but on the internet as a whole, has simply been a lead up to this post. Please enjoy it. Thanks.

Oh, and one more thing: I do not actually like the show Loonatics Unleashed. I simply like like the character of Rev Runner. Now we must go on.

MEHTUL. It pantsless rules. But I will usually only like it if it is 1.) Atmospheric 2.) Melodic. Thankfully, and contrary to popular belief, much of it is. Bands such as Agalloch, Anathema, Katatonia, Iron Maiden, Green Carnation, Nightwish, Angtoria, After Forever, Ayreon, Opeth, Xandria, Within Temptation, Nemesea, Elis, Edguy, Blind Guardian, Sonata Arctica, Dark Tranquillity and Symphony X, as well as many others, have truly celebrated this concept. I will admit now that totally soulless, noisy MEHTUL bands such as Cannibal Corpse, Pig Destroyer, Waking the Cadaver and The Wiggles are absolute shit. Some MEHTUL DOES suck. Some MEHTUL IS the worst music ever. But that does not negate at all the good MEHTUL bands that exist. KEEP THIS IN MIND, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!

I would now like to take this opportunity to declare my love for someone. There is a user here who is relatively new, at least in terms of how long I've been here, but there influence on me is no less significant. Dear Tai, you are truly an indispensable part of my life. I know I poke fun at you in general a lot, floodkicking you and all. But damn it Tai, you know I wouldn't do that to you if I didn't love you as much as I do. You know how women are - they'll pants with a guy they like until they are ready to go insane.

The truth is, the only reason I bother to stay around here is because of you. You have such a way of listening, however subtle, that no one else could ever emulate. You listen to my midis and you truly admire them, in a way very little people ever could. Your sense of humor is so warm and loving, and the crazy images you post just bring a smile to my face. I just wish... you were here. Not there, in California, thousands of miles away. I just wish you were close to me. I believe truly compatible souls should always be close to eachother. As Socrates once said, true best friends are one soul in two bodies. I believe that fits us well. Tai, just remember, however much I may annoy you at times, I still love you. :)


Just kidding, Tai. You're a douche.


Now, A Random Research Paper. (You don't have to read it.)

Painting a False Portrait
Portrait of a Killer; Case Closed

Patricia Cornwell’s Portrait of a Killer; Case Closed is very symbolic in its name, as it documents the life of an artist named Walter Sickert. Sickert thoroughly enjoyed the high-class life, which included attending theater productions, browsing art galleries and hosting dinner parties. It would be hard to believe that this well bred and smooth talking man would be the very soul responsible for the mutilations of five East-London prostitutes, which took place during the Whitechapel murders. However, Patricia Cornwell’s heavily researched book attempts to prove exactly that. The book is narrated from four basic standpoints; the details of the murders themselves, the conditions of East London back in the late 19th century, facts and details about Walter Sickert’s personal life, and evidence that attempts to intertwine these three aspects together to prove Sickert guilty. Throughout his childhood, Sickert supposedly displayed signs of behavior typical of psychopaths. He did not feel a shred of
sympathy towards others and he did not care about how his actions affected others as long as he had achieved what he wanted (Cornwell – 48), most likely
very similar to Jack the Ripper’s own profile, given his gruesome actions. Later in his life, as an artist, he would often paint gruesome scenes of women in gruesome situations; pictures shrouded with elements such a torture, murder and death; pictures that would invoke uneasiness into the viewer. These pictures were supposedly very reminiscent to the scenes of the Whitechapel murders themselves. Using these two facts about Sickert, Patricia Cornwell gathers a team of researchers to obtain any evidence they can against him. The evidence presented is, indeed, very persuasive to Cornwell’s assertions, but the absolute legitimacy of it all is rather questionable. There are many aspects of the history and facts that are manipulated in Cornwell’s favor. Key evidence presented by Cornwell, including DNA linking, physical and characteristic similarities between the Ripper letters (letters sent into Scotland Yard claiming to be from Jack the Ripper himself) and letters written by Walter Sickert, geographical information of Sickert’s whereabouts and ties between the Whitechapel murder scenes and Sickert’s artwork, are littered with factual errors that invalidate her entire case.

First, Patricia Cornwell attempts to use the most common method of profiling in modern science; DNA linking. Cornwell gathers fifty-five samples of Ripper and Sickert-related envelopes, but fails to find exact DNA matches. However, she finds mitochondria DNA similarities between the infamous Openshaw Ripper letter, three other ripper letters, an envelope from a Sickert

letter and a stamp from a Sickert letter (Cornwell – 163). However, these similarities are only good enough to eliminate ninety-nine percent of the population of the United Kingdom (Phelan – 1). Considering the vast number of people who lived in the metropolis during this time period (40 million) this does not prove very much, as 400, 000 others shared the same mtDNA sequence (Ryder – 3). Furthermore, the Openshaw letters, as well as the majority of the Ripper letters, have never been considered a legitimate source “by any serious author or researcher”(Ryder – 2). Furthermore, even if the ninety-nine percent exclusion of the population of the United Kingdom were grounds for conclusive DNA evidence, there is no proof that the mtDNA is, in fact, Walter Sickert’s. These samples, particularly the Ripper letters, have been touched by many researchers and police officials throughout the years, and therefore would no longer be considered a legitimate source of DNA (Hoffler – 2). Lastly, Walter Sickert’s DNA will never really be known; there are no legitimate sources of his DNA, and he was cremated after his death (Ryder – 2). Cornwell’s forensic evidence against Sickert, therefore, proves to be filled with scientific fallacies, ultimately nullifying her argument from that perspective.

Secondly, despite the faulty DNA evidence, Cornwell asserts that the similarities between Walter Sickert and the majority of the Ripper letters are too abundant to ignore. She believes that Sickert had sent in the majority of the letters, as they were all littered with his characteristic language and his arrogance (Cornwell – 14). However, it is not possible that one person could have sent all or
even most of these letters; there was a total of 600 sent in, the majority from London itself, but many more from foreign countries such as “France, the United States, Australia, South Africa and many other foreign countries”(Ryder –1). Secondly, sending in Jack the Ripper letters, during that time period was, sadly, just a morbid national past time; in “1880s London there would have been many thousands of potential writers of the letters”(Phelan – 1-2). The fact that many of the letters have the same type of tone and characteristic terms is not an accident; after the first few letters were sent in, many also felt compelled to send in prank letters of their own, often modeling their letters after ones previously sent, leading to similarities in language and mannerism (Ryder – 2). Lastly, a key link Cornwell states was a common term used in the Ripper letters – “Ha-ha”. She asserts that this is a very American laugh, nearly unheard of in Victorian England, except by Walter Sickert, who most likely often heard it from his American-born master James Whistler (Cornwell – 53). This would seem like a very plausible argument, if it were not for the fact that the “Oxford English Dictionary dates the use of ‘Ha-ha’ back to Old English”(Ryder – 3). Therefore, it can be easily concluded that the “similar” structures of all the Ripper letters were not due to simply one person, but to the bandwagon appeal.

In addition to the character of the letters sent in, Cornwell also uses the watermarks found on various Ripper letters to tie Sickert to them. Upon her research, she discovered that “three Ripper letters and eight Sickert letters have the A. Pirie & Sons watermark” (Cornwell – 169). However, this fact can be easily refuted; there were a vast number of letters dealing with Jack the Ripper and, given that number, coincidences such as these are bound to occur. As for the watermarks themselves, it is not much of a coincidence at all; at the time, there were only ninety paper mills existing in the U.K. at the time (Hoffler – 2). Incidentally, A Pirie & Sons was one of the largest paper mills in that day (Ryder – 3). Thus, it is not a surprise that Sickert’s letters and a select few of the Ripper letters have the same watermark; the laws of probability simply allow it to happen.

Another argument that Cornwell frequently revisits in her book is the content of Sickert’s artwork having parallels with the Ripper crimes themselves. Particularly, they “bear a chilling resemblance to mortuary and scene photographs of Jack the Ripper’s victims” (Cornwell – 11). Unfortunately, Cornwell herself makes a contradictory statement on this matter; they were similar to the photographs in the mortuary. More than likely, the murderer was never at the mortuary (Ryder – 4). Even so, Walter Sickert did draw pictures that were, indeed, related to the Jack the Ripper crimes, as well as other violent scenes. However, this was presumably simply due to his interest in the subject at hand; the dark acts committed in London’s East side (Barber – 5). Lastly, Cornwell claims that Sickert’s painting, Putana a Casa, bore a striking resemblance to the Jack the Ripper’s fourth victim, Catharine Eddows, in that they both had unrecognizable facial features, supposedly, due to repeated slashes to the face (Cornwell – 226). However, indistinct facial features were
almost a trademark of Sickert’s; he had used this style many times before, and was simply replicating it (Hoffler – 4). Therefore, the claim that Sickert’s paintings had poignant parallels to the Ripper’s victims is a highly subjective opinion, and one not worth any sort of conviction.

It is very important to note the dates of the Ripper’s morbid murders; between August 31st and November 9th of 1888 (Hoffler – 1). Appropriately, Cornwell addresses the matter of Sickert’s whereabouts during this time period. While she could not find any conclusive evidence that Sickert was, without a doubt, in London during that time period, she also discovered “nothing on record to prove that he wasn’t” (Cornwell – 79). This argument is very faulty as it is, but it is also false. In fact, there is evidence that suggests that Walter Sickert may have been in France during this time. On “September 6th”, Sickert’s mother wrote from France “describing how Walter and his brother Bernhard were having such a ‘happy time’ swimming and painting there” (Ryder - 5). Additionally, Sickert’s wife, Ellen wrote to her brother-in-law on September 21st explaining that “her husband was in France for some weeks now” (Ryder - 5). Indeed, there is very plausible evidence suggesting Sickert was elsewhere during the reign of Jack the Ripper’s terror, disproving Patricia Cornwell’s assertion altogether.

In conclusion, while Patricia Cornwell’s Portrait of a Killer is very well researched and very thorough in its presentation of the information, it is simply too full of gaping errors which eliminate all hope of officially closing the case. The DNA findings are not specific enough, the similarities of the Ripper letters sent to


Scotland Yard are simply to be expected, parallels between Sickert’s art and the Ripper murder’s are too highly subjective to conclusively prove anything and, most importantly, there is evidence to suggest that Sickert was in France during the murders. Given this newfound information, one still has to respect the very hard, strenuous work Cornwell put into Portrait of a Killer. It remains one of the most thoroughly researched and intelligently executed Ripper assertions to this day and possibly the closest anyone has ever gotten to solve the case. However, the errors in factual information (which are almost to be expected in a case that has remained unsolved for 118 years) make Cornwell’s confidence in her assertion almost seem more like arrogance. It is still a very interesting read, and provides deep insight into the Ripper case; however, it cannot be considered a renowned breakthrough in the matter. Despite this, the information that is presented in the novel may, in turn, lead into an actual breakthrough in the infamous crime, but for now, it is safe to say that the case remains unclosed.






Works Cited
Barber, John. “The Camden Town Murders.” Ripperologist 44(2002): 1-6

Cornwell, Patricia. Portrait of a Killer. Jack the Ripper: Case Closed. Berkley
mass-market edition. New York, New York: Berkeley, 2002.

Hoffler, Benjamin. "Portrait of a Killer. Jack the Ripper: Case Closed?."
Casebook: Jack the Ripper - Portrait of a Killer. Jack the Ripper: Case Closed?. 2006. Casebook. 26 Nov 2006 <http>.

Phelan, Joseph. "November, 2002. Cornwell v. Sickert: Portrait of the Artist as a
Serial Killer." November Article: Portrait of the Artist as a Serial Killer. 2006. ArtCyclopedia. 2002 <http>.

Ryder, Stephan. "Patricia Cornwell and Walter Sickert: A Primer."
Casebook: Jack the Ripper - Patricia Cornwell and Walter Sickert: A Primer. 2006. Casebook. 26 Nov 2006 <http>.


Now that that is over with (That must of been a long, hard scroll for you), let us move on.

<DanTheMan> Arlo, as long as you don't fill it with 25 pages of "OMG TOASTER" I will read every word

OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER just kidding.

And now, some shout outs. They are short so you should like them.

Jason has long hair. This makes him inherently cool. But even if he had short hair he'd still be a cool dude.

I have known Doc Sigma since early 2002. That is at least 258 Internet Years. And he has always been such a good friend to me, and we have so much in common it is ridiculous. So here is my shout out to you, Chris! I know for a fact that I will remember you for the rest of my life.

The cake is not, in fact, a lie. There is a cake faucet.

Gforce422 - you are TRULY a dedicated poster. Keep on postin' you.

Sage - You are a SQUIRREL. I think that says enough.

Fekeal - You're nick is actually Fritz. Change it right now. Also I am glad Jerry and you made up. Also you are a band geek and you like TMBG and I resent you for both

Jerry - You are not here to read this right now, but you've always been a super friendly guy. Just please don't go too hard on members that you don't like. I've learned from that mistake before, myself.

Ibun - What can I say? You are my BROTHER! We like a lot of the same bands and you are the first person on the internet I told about my engagement. For that you will always be remembered.

KJ Fellie - NINJA PENGUIN. And perhaps a bit of YERFING.

Hanging Tree - I agree that Twisted Sister sucks but shut up I totally won that debate.

Jack Ravendawn - You will always be Jacob to me. And have a pogo avatar. And you know it.

Simon: >:@

Maeglin: You are not here anymore either, but really, YOU were the one who got me into MEHTUL. I will always remember you for that.

Felix Lockhart: You like IRON MAIDEN and therefore you rock.

Javs the Deer: You look insanely old for your age. You are also a totally cool guy. Stay around because you are cool.

Liz: MY FEMALE COMPADRE! MOTHER OF ALL MEMES AND MARTIES. Please don't leave like the other occasional female members did D:

Tai: I've already said what I had to say about you.

Klimt: You are new but you are still T Milk. You live in Red Deer. You like Agalloch. Cheers.

Roo: When I said cheers it reminded me of you, you Brit you. We occasionally either really agree or disagree about our musical tastes, but that doesn't detract from your awesomeness. Stay around because we need your cannibas-induced influence.

Jent: We needs yours too. Also Nine Inch Nails.

Astro Duck: You will always be my Daffy. And you are a funny cartoonist guy. Just stop listening to SKA.

Tavis: I don't know if you will read this, but you are my NEIGHBOR and the SAVIOR of this place in a way. Purple purple purple snow leopard! Cheers.

Doog: You are totally innapropriate. All I gotta say.

Arloest: You stupid bitch. GTFO.

The JAM: Whatever happened to your WARPING thing? I'd like to see that once more for pure nostalgic purposes.

Bekul: I know who you are. O_O

Octan: You are probably my favorite artist. And you also like my midis! And I am sorry for misspelling "Blotch" so many times. Wait WHAT

Fanatic Fox: Brandddoonn. Don't eat too much hot sauce. Really. DO NOT. You will die. Also quit ABUSING me. Also never give up the cartoonist dream!

Code Cat: Our resident Dutchman furry guy! Keep up all the good work. You make us proud.

Baconsticks: You are new and you post a lot. And you refer to YouTube as JewTube. Lol /b/tard

VenM2: You draw a bunch. You draw a bunch. You draw a bunch.

Cameron: You've only been drawing for a YEAR?! Damn, you're a professional. And you're very classy, which is always appreciated.

Chris: You speak English far better than I can speak Filipino. Enough said.

Asteriskboy86: Of every single type of post on here, your posts stick out the mosts. If I ever see a question in bold type following a statement, I will always think of you.

DanTheMan: You've been featured in this post already! That means you're special.

GeorgiaCoyote: You appreciate the rareness of snow as much as I do.

teozo: Don't let the bastards grind you down. Stand TALL.

Bocaj: You are pantsless hilarious. All of your posts are awesome. It's quite an amazing feat.

baloki: Stop spamming goddamit.

Dr Dos: You are always a hoot whenever the conversation turns to furries, you freaking furry.

Richard K Niner: Rotating avatars! Personalized emoticons! Linux! WHOOOOO!!!!

Visibility Missing: I still think you're user name could be a good name for an alt rock band. Always keep this in mind.

Rikirk: RIKIRKIRKIRK. You love mst3k as much as I do! I appreciate this.

Holyman83: I've never seen a person with as many nice things to say as you do. I envy your ability to be consistently friendly.

Tom Flapwell: Flap flap flap flap flap batty batty bat. Your posts can be QUITE silly and fun. Flap flap flap flap :3

Johndoe0028: Lol /b/tard. Quit being so ANONYMOUS.

Osprey: You totally remind me of a hockey-crazed Canadian. Which you probably are! Canucks amirite?

Kojiro: Another local! Hello neighbour. Your avatar gives me mind trips.

Derrick Fish: You probably won't read this either, but your strip is kick ass. I've just started reading it. Nice stuff. Ironically I don't read webcomics that often.

Nickspoon: You should grow back your pink hair. it suits you well. Also you listen to INDIE. Don't let Javs the Javs eat you, LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS.

Priest Raven: We have had our differences. At least I have had my differences with you. >:@ But your posts can be a refreshing change of pace, remember this.

TyVulpine: Your first name is Ty and therefore sometimes I get you confused for Tai. Well maybe.

MandoAndy: Hey! You have the same name as my brother! Also your musicianship rocks.

Ruedii-X: You are my favorite member. In fact I'm pretty sure you are everyone's favorite member. Dammit you just spread love wherever you might go.

SotiCoto: You too.

Comrade K: REVOLUCION. You are the outdoorsy type which is rare around these internet parts. I APPRECIATE that.

Ghostway: You are one crazy dude! Well I don't know. But you're an oldbie and you should stay.

Mazzter: Our local techie! At least I think. At least that's what I think of you. Yes. Uh huh.

Seaking: pants yeah seaking.

Mudkips: I liek them

Foxhound: WEAPONS. SOVIET RUSSIA AND STUFF. HALO. WHOOOOOO. Haha. Don't let the bastards grind you down, either.

Plaid Elephant Cheese: You are an Ozy and Millie FANATIC. All I gots to say right now.

BSP: You have had the same avatar and signature, for like, ever. Since I've been here. That is RESPECTABLE. And you really took the time to analyze my midis when I posted them, which I appreciate muchly.

Tabris: You have a lot on your plate! Comics, reviewing music (which is a profession I myself would like to have a hand in) and posting in THIS place. Props.

Corey Fox: You are not as bad as Corey Hart. CELEBRATE that.

Loeln: You always say what you want to say. Sometimes that can get you into TROUBLE but its an attitude that oughtta be respected.

Becky: You posted here for like 5 minutes, but you still posted here. You were like my best internet friend for the longest time. I've known you as long as I've known Doc, probably. We've shared stories, we've laughed, we cried. Hope for a better tomorrow and never let the bastards grind you down.

Ghostly Gecko: You live in Los Angeles, and while people say it sucks to live in Los Angeles, I envy you. I live in HOUSTON man, so yeah. Always remember the small text!

Spray: Lol spraydrift. Another fellow Texan, eh? You should come back to the chat some more. You're always a really funny guy, and probably the biggest gamer I know. Props props and more props.

And last but CERTAINLY not least

Zaaphod: It's true, I probably talk to you more than I talk to anyone on here. And for the longest time too. And we talk about so many things, and it's usually only stuff that involves me somehow, and I REALLY appreciate you putting up with that. In fact, I think you are the only person besides my dad and Keith that I talk to extensively about my running stuffs. You always always actually listen, and of course that is a quality that women of all kind like. Remember that and remember ME cause I will remember you.

Undoubtedly I forgot someone important. But pants I just wrote a lot. But if I didn't say something about you and you want something to be said, bitch at me and I will get it done.

And no I am NOT actually leaving. But that was an indispensable part of this post, and it had to be stated.

Now some PICTURES of FUNNINESS.



I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT IS NOT IN FACT BUTTER!



What the pants I can't think of anything to say.

Today’s Schedule =(


12:00 PM – 1:00 PM – Government/Lunch
1:00 PM – 4:00 PM – Calculus
4:00 – 5:30 PM – English Essay
5:30 – 8:00 PM – Run/Shower/Dinner?
8:00 – 10:30 PM – Debate Oratory



I was stirring up.

A stirrup.

Cup.

When an ELF SHOT ME IN THE LEG AND THEN I DIED.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Now here is something I wrote 5 years ago that I am TOTALLY EMBARRASSED about writing now. It is horrible and sucky. Enjoy!

Q: IS THERE AN FAQ?
A: No.

Q: IF A MONKEY BITES ME, WHAT DRUGS DO I TAKE?
A: Don't do drugs, kid.

Q: DO YOU THINK I WILL EVER GET MARRIED?
A: No.

Q: WHY NOT?
A: Because you are just some guy who exists only to ask questions. Suprise!

Q: ARE YOU GOING TO EAT ME?
A: Nah, I don't eat junk food.

Q: ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?
A: No, soap is not something I like to eat. But you can have it if you'd like.

Q: THANKS! HOW WILL I EVER REPAY YOU?
A: Buy me a bar of soap. I'm fresh out.

Q: OW! I STUBBED MY TOE! WHAT DO I DO?!
A: Dip your toe in boiling water. It works it like a charm.

Q: IF YOU AND MY DOG SKIP GOT IN A FIGHT, WHO WOULD WIN?
A: Me, cause Erin Brockovich would be distracting good ol' Skip.

Q: YOU HAVE A SICK MIND, DON'T YOU?
A: GENIUS! You figured that out in only 9 questions! You get a sticker.

Q: GIVE ME 100 BUCKS, OKAY?
A: Sorry, I left it in my other pockets.

Q: WHY DOES THIS SOAP TASTE SO BAD?
A: It usually tastes like whipped cream, so it must have gone bad. I'm sorry, but you have 2 weeks to live.

Q: NO!!!! CAN IT BE????
A: Yes, it can be.

Q: MAN, HARRY POTTER'S NOT A TRUE STORY, RIGHT?
A: Actully, yes it is.

Q: IT IS?!
A: Yes. Oh, and by the way, Lord Voldemort's next target is you.

Q: SO WILL I DIE FROM THE ROTTEN SOAP OR FROM LORD VOLDEMORT?
A: Whichever comes first.

Q: OW!!!! A BURNED MY TOE FROM THE BOILNG WATER!!! WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?!
A: Yes. You no longer have to worry about the subby-toe feeling, now do you?

Q: IS IT TRUE THAT IT TAKES REAL PEOPLE TO EAT TIM'S POTATO CHIPS?
A: Yes, therefore you cannot eat them.

Q: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?
A: Because you are not a real person and you do not have feelings.

Q: WHY DON'T I HAVE A COMB?
A: Cause you are bald, baldy.

Q: CAN I GO TO THE PARTY?
A: Yes, but don't be suprised if there is a mad axe-man waiting there for you.

Q: WHY WOULD THERE BE A MAN AXE MAN THERE?
A: I sent him there so you couldn't go! You are much too young to be out this late.

Q: HOW OLD AM I?
A: I just created you a 20 minutes ago.

Q: ARE YOU FEELING OK?
A: Yes I am. How about you?

Q: I FEEL LIKE A STRESS BALL AFTER BEING SQUEEZED! WHAT'S GOING ON?
A: I think the rotten soap is kicking in.

Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
A: The Special Show

Q: WHAT CHANNEL IS THAT ON?
A: The Special Channel.

Q: HOW DO I GET IT?
A: Stand in the middle of a busy intersection, wrapped in tinfoil with your arms up in the air.

Q: WHAT IS CASTLE INFINITY?
A: An interactive computer game.

Q: HOW DO I GET IT?
A: Dress up as a hobo and beg for it in the streets.

Q: DOES IT REQUIRE INTERNET ACCESS?
A: Yes!

Q: HOW DO I GET THAT?
A: Beg for that too!

Q: AM I ALLOWED?
A: Yes.

Q: AM I STLL ALLOWED?
A: Yes.

Q: AM I STILL ALLOWED?
A: pants no.

Q: WHO IS BUMBALO BILL?
A: Your dad.

Q: WHY IS HE MY DAD?
A: Cause he doesn't exist, just like you!

Q: DO YOU LIKE BUTTERSCOTCH?
A: God no.

Q: WHY NOT?
A: Cause it has the same ingredients as rotten soap.

Q: WHAT QUESTION IS THIS?
A: Number 40.

Q: DO YOU HAVE A NUTCRACKER I CAN BURROW?
A: No, but don't worry, when you eat rotten soap you start seeing them all over the place!

Q: WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME?
A: Wile E. Coyote.

Q: WOW! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
A: No.

Q: WHY NOT?
A: Cause you don't exist, I don't give autographs out to non-existant people.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN "LORD OF THE RINGS"?
A: Yes.

Q: DID YOU KNOW I'M IN IT?
A: Yes, you are the Evil Nougat Guy! Cause you don't exist!

Q: DID YOU KNOW MY WEBSITE IS WAY COOLER THAN YOURS?
A: Yes! I heard it was called www.coolestsiteintheworld.com, only available on the pretend world wide web made of of Play-doh.

Q: DO NON-EXISTANT PEOPLE GET DANDRUFF?
A: Nobody but you.

Q: HOW DO I GET RID OF MY DANDRUFF?
A: Dip your head in boiling water, it works!

Q: OUCH! I BURNT MY SCALP OFF!!! WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?!
A: Yes, now there is no more dandruff, and well as no more scalp!

But I digress.

The REAL topic at hand here is no topic at all. And that had something to
do with something. Therefore this whole universe should not exist.

Yaaay!



"Ah, yes, an authentic re-creation of the scene in the movie where Darth Vader goes hang-gliding. While hanging from his neck."

And now, some falling snow.

The water pours its embracing arms around the stone
Decay drips from the unquiet void where the ice forms, where life ends
The stone is by the crimson flood, swallowed
The red tide beyond the ebon wound, contorted
My sacrifice bids farewell in this river of memory... a wave to end all time
Red birds escape from my wounds and return as falling snow
To sweep the landscape; a wind haunted, wings without bodies
The snow, the bitter snowfall
You wish to die in her pale arms, crystalline, to become an ode to silence
In the soul of a mountain of birds, fallen
The cascading pallor of ghostless feather
The snow has fallen and raised this white mountain on which you will die and fade away in silence

That's right. You are going to DIE on a pantsless MOUNTAIN. Which is WHITE. Like MOST OF OUR MEMBERS HERE.

Tai says I'm white anyway.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

So whats going on in #definecynical right now?

<Spottycat> no u
<Arloest> What you are saying makes no sense in context
<Jason> :D?
<Shepwuff> THIS SHIT NEEDS DRIVEN THE pants TO THE STORE
<Arloest> Javs please be civil
<Spottycat> >:@:<
<Shepwuff> dieeeee
<Spottycat> They won't know it's him
<Shepwuff> dieidieidieidieidieidieidieidieidieidie
<Shepwuff> yeah
<Arloest> NOW THEY WILL
<Shepwuff> I'm not Javs
<Shepwuff> I'm SHEPWUFF
<Spottycat> EXCEPT YOU JUST SAID IT"S HIM
<DanTheMan> OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER OMG TOASTER
<Shepwuff> whoever that is
<Arloest> SHEPWUFF IS JAVS AND SPOTTYCAT IS FEKEAL
<Shepwuff> who is FEKEAL
<DanTheMan> I KNOW, it's EPIC
<Spottycat> WHO THE pants IS FEKEAL YOU BITCH
<Shepwuff> fekeal is dead
<klimt> what the pants guys
<klimt> the hell is this SHIT
<Arloest> This is dirty language and I don't condone it.
<Spottycat> pants u
* Shepwuff furries klimt
* klimt furries javs
<Arloest> Is that enough?
<Arloest> OK
<Shepwuff> ok.
<DanTheMan> OJ
<Arloest> By the way, DC, I end up banning all of them. ;)

And I did too. You better BELIEVE it.

I am currently listening to Amon Amarth. Synchronized Headbanging for the WIN.

So today I went to Fuddruckers. I had the Inferno Burger. It was quite delicious. I liked it.

Tragedy has befallen the band, Elis. Their lead singer has died. The upcoming album, Griefshire, will be released in her memory. May she rest in peace.

Let us observe a moment of silence.























Thank you for your understanding.

I have time for one last thing, and then I will say my final words.

The Story
The trouble started 65 million years ago. There were three types of creatures on Earth then: dinosaurs, small furry rodent-type mammals, and monsters. The dinosaurs and mammals got along swimmingly. As we all know there's a natural affinity between the two. However this made the monsters green with envy. Well mostly green anyway, a few of them are purple and at least one or two were a rather strange shade of blue. But we digress. The monsters decided to get rid of the dinosaurs because that's just the sort of thing monsters do.
At the time technology was far more advanced than the fossil record shows. Using powerful computers, or magnets, or something really big and ugly, the monsters diverted a huge comet from its orbit and sent it sailing toward Earth to wipe out the dinosaurs. Of course, it would kill most of the monsters and mammals too. Pretty typically, the monsters failed to consider the consequences of their own actions.

Fortunately, the dinosaurs saw the comet coming. Sensing there was nothing they could do to stop it, they built Castle Infinity, a secret world where they could still exist. When the comet crashed into Earth, it wiped out the more dimwitted dinosaurs, most of the monsters, and all but a few rodent-like mammals. Nonetheless, the dinosaurs who made it into Castle Infinity were safe.

Millions of years passed. Eventually, the few surviving mammals multiplied, evolved and stood upright. They made tools, farmed, created cultures and grew societies on Earth. At some point they even came up with the computer. Finally, kids got their hands on computers, and an event of cataclysmic proportions occurred.
On April 8, 1995, thanks to a one-in-a-zillion combination of events set in motion by a spilt juicebox on the family PC, a 12 year old kid named Timmy made the first connection to Castle Infinity. The dinosaurs, led by ambassadors Rodney T-bone Rex and Dr. Foster, acted fast to broadcast a single urgent message to kids everywhere: SEND HELP!

Why? Because 65 million years ago, just before the dinosaurs climbed inside Castle Infinity and sealed it off, monsters got in too. And like the mildew that grows between the tiles in your shower; left unchecked, they spread all over the place. And the last thing Castle Infinity needs is more monsters.

Therefore, Castle Infinity needs you now more than ever. All you have to do to help is fire-up the Castle Infinity CD-ROM (which acts as the automatic link so you don't have to bother squirting juice on your computer) and jump right in. So get in here and start working together to save the dinosaurs and the whole darned place from the monsters!

As you can see, Castle Infinity is a fun place where you can work with kids from around the world, defeating monsters, and just having fun! So this is a game you NEED to download from www.castleinfinity.com today!


Now for my final words.

Life is a tragedy. The things we love will always come and go. But we need to remember the words of Bono, and walk on.

Yes there will be victories in our lives. But what is gained is loss. And what IS loss, is sadness. That is all that sadness is. A reaction to some kind of loss. Just the same as the only sin man ever commits is the sin of theft. In some form or another, all criminal acts are a form of theft, whether a theft of a jelly bean in the candy aisle of a store, or the theft of a life.

Life is a tragedy. But that does not mean that life is inherently bad. Any good moments we have to live for are, indeed, worth living for. Whether it be a high school of a game, the gaining of a friend, or simply watching a magnificent sunset, hovering in glorious orange and red, sending streaks of pink or red light upon the clouds above, a display both magnificent and melancholy – a celebration of every triumph and the mourning of every loss, setting upon the remains of a dying day.

We all have our special places. Carviava, Bave, I don't care. These special places are worth the living. The place that makes us feel better when the treasured things in our life go away. And they will. But from what is lost, another thing can be gained. Life is for the living. Always remember that.

The ones you loved are never truly gone. You are never truly alone. The Earth is not a cold dead place. If that don't suit you, that's a drag.

Beyond this beautiful horizon
Lies a dream for you and I
This tranquil scene is still unbroken by the rumors in the sky
But there's a storm closing in
Voices crying on the wind
This serenade is growing colder breaks my soul that tries to sing
And there's so many, many thoughts
When I try to go to sleep
But with you I start to feel a sort of temporary peace

There's a drift in and out




This has, once again, been Angela Welch. I am one; I am nothing; I am everything I know; I am forever.

Peace to the Middle East. We out.

I don't know if that part about me is real or not but ;( for being put down

*gets butthurt*

[Ibun]

DON'T QUOTE THE FIRST POST OMG.

I <3 you Angela, seriously.