panic enduced drama

[Angstwolf]

I should've known. I've yet to meet a millionaire that I've liked.

It's story time with Uncle Fox now.

The last millionaire I encountered was the father of the man who knocked down my dog, killing her outright. Now, I'm not the sentimental type, but I did feel somewhat miffed when I was shovelling my trusty companion off the road into the bin. Said millionare ordered his son to return to my house and demand payment for the damage done to his car.

Which, technically, he was legally within his rights to do. I wrote the cheque dutifully, because I knew I didn't have a leg to stand on, but I was utterly appalled. I've never wanted to spit on a person so much as I did then. If I'd knocked someone's dog down, I'd put my own mouth around the curb just in case they wanted to stomp me.

It's legally within your rights to HIT him in the FACE with a BLUNT OBJECT.

[rabid_fox]

If Stephen Fry were my lawyer, I bet it would've worked out. As the case actually is, he got his car repaired because technically, wee Lex who'd I'd had since she was a pup and was beginning to worry about her old age in a "In five years, I might just have to have this dog put down" way counts as my property, so it was my property on the road that damaged his car.

I still wanted to spit on him. I've never had to work so hard to keep saliva in my mouth...except for that one time...

[klimt]

I should've known. I've yet to meet a millionaire that I've liked.

It's story time with Uncle Fox now.

you should come on the IRC.

[rabid_fox]

I would, except that IRC and I had this massive fight a while back. In my defense, IRC threw the first punch, so I was all like, "YOU WANT THIS?!" and IRC was all "BRING IT PUNK!" and I was all, "OK."

So I threw the second punch, and then IRC threw a bottle of whiskey which just missed my head and then I picked up a barstool and cracked him over the collarbone with it and IRC pulled off an astounding spin-kick that Jean Claude Van-Dam would've been proud of and even though I lost three teeth, a fistful of dollars and a pair of eyeballs to that kick, I prevailed and downed that son-of-a-glue-stick with a scintillating headbutt to the scrotum.

Since then, IRC clients refuse to connect me. I can understand.

[klimt]

I would, except that IRC and I had this massive fight a while back. In my defense, IRC threw the first punch, so I was all like, "YOU WANT THIS?!" and IRC was all "BRING IT PUNK!" and I was all, "OK."

So I threw the second punch, and then IRC threw a bottle of whiskey which just missed my head and then I picked up a barstool and cracked him over the collarbone with it and IRC pulled off an astounding spin-kick that Jean Claude Van-Dam would've been proud of and even though I lost three teeth, a fistful of dollars and a pair of eyeballs to that kick, I prevailed and downed that son-of-a-glue-stick with a scintillating headbutt to the scrotum.

Since then, IRC clients refuse to connect me. I can understand.

i'm going to have to agree with ibuns assessment of you.

[Spray]

an astounding spin-kick that Jean Claude Van-Dam would've been proud of

That's not saying much.

[rabid_fox]

Someone hasn't appreciated "Universal Soldier" for the masterpiece of post-ironic critique of the enemy within as the enemy without that it surely was.

Especially the combine harvester bit. Glorificent.

[Spray]

The only thing Van Damme did right was to get Bolo Yeung to be in all those kung fu movies with him. Bolo performed circles around Van Damme, and he was 50 years old!

[rabid_fox]

Shut up. I can't hear you. La la la la la.

[Spray]

In that case, you won't hear me insult your maternal lineage.

[rabid_fox]

She will, though. She'll crush you like a bug, too. Irish matriarch, you see.

[klimt]

you could probably beat the java irc client thingy into submission...

[rabid_fox]

I could, but then you'd discover my terrible secret. I'm a Nazi. Get me!

[klimt]

I could, but then you'd discover my terrible secret. I'm a Nazi. Get me!

got you.

now what?


i know...i'll set you free down a long, dark, back road. go now little nazi, run, be free!

[rabid_fox]

A long drawn-out war-crimes trial with inconclusive results and certainly no real tangible punishment seems to be the norm in this situation. However, to spice things up, I advise a prison cell with a selection of curious puzzles, each more fiendish than the previous that I have to solve to get fed.