Define Cynical Fan Forums

Posted: **Sat Oct 30, 2004 12:53 am**

I recieved a rather idiotic e-mail about how Texas should secede if John Kerry wins the election.* However, it had some fun facts which I have copied after doing my best to cut out the invective (DCS taught me a cool word!) And for the record, the Republic of Texas is a terrorist organization. I do not support or condone them. I did not recieve this e-mail from them. 1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry. 2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States. 3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning. 4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that. 5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. 6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications-- small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. 7. Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States. 8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: University of Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. 9. We have a ready supply of workers. We could just open the border when we need some more. 10. We have essential control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. 11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. Since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over Chuck Norris and a couple of Texas Rangers. 12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. *Seceding when a candidate we don't like is elected? Didn't we try that in 1860?

Posted: **Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:00 am**

...And your point exactly is...? <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/huh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='huh.gif' /> Umm, I 'm not going to say much about this, having lived in Texas for a while. Could a mod kindly delete this topic from the board.? I'm sorry, but this thread doesn't really belong here.

Posted: **Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:08 am**

HEHEHE that is a fun e-mail I have a feeling Texas would not leave the US cuse of Kerry...We have other was of dealing with one man (only joking)

Posted: **Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:22 am**

My point is that I found it interesting and thought othetrs might as well. Is that not the purpose of a forum?

Posted: **Sat Oct 30, 2004 2:38 am**

Looking at this topic, I couldn't help but think of <a href='http://www.idrewthis.org/2004/southernman.html' target='_blank'>this editorial cartoon</a> of D.C. Simpson's. Possibly due to the mention of armed secession

Posted: **Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:21 am**

The human race IS getting stupider. I blame television. If we didn't have television, people would have to get up off their butts and go somewhere to listen to political debates. on the other hand, that would mean no video games. I love television!

Posted: **Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:34 pm**

Aaron McGruder (of Boondocks fame) has a graphic novel out called "Birth of a Nation" about what would happen if East St. Louis seceded. This reminded me of it.

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:40 am**

I wonder what he means by "armed secession?" I doubt the south would have been upset if Lincoln had not invaded.

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 4:49 am**

As much as I learned about the "War of Northern Aggression" growing up, I have to agree with the yankees on that one. We did secede, it didn't work, and people try to keep it alive.

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 10:21 pm**

I'm not supporting the secession*, but the reason it "didn't work" is because Lincoln built an army to put the southern states back in the union. The Southerners didn't take kindly to having weapons pointed at them, and took up arms to defend their homes. The Civil war came out of the same sort of tensions we see today, between the rural south (and west) and the urban North (and Pacific coast.) Look at what states are voting for whom, and you'll see a great deal of regionalism in this election. *There is a tradition that Texas made two major mistakes in its history: Failing to manage its finances and winding up having to join the US in 1845, and joining the confederacy in 1860. Also, Texas gave rise to LBJ.

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 10:37 pm**

I hate Texas. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... mellow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='mellow.gif' />

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:08 pm**

Starts beating MidnightRealism senselessly your such a hater Texas is not that bad

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:12 pm**

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Holyman83 @ Oct 31 2004, 11:08 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Starts beating MidnightRealism senselessly your such a hater Texas is not that bad  </td></tr></table>  *Glimpses at Bush* R O F L ! <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' />

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:16 pm**

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Holyman83 @ Oct 31 2004, 11:08 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Starts beating MidnightRealism senselessly your such a hater Texas is not that bad  </td></tr></table>  <img src='http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v430/kamil10/lmao.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' /> Yes it did require two posts.

Posted: **Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:36 pm**

one bad apple doesn't make the whole bunch bad :\

Define Cynical Fan Forums

Texas... $@#% Yeah!