Define Cynical Fan Forums

This is a simple game. Simply twist the wish of the person above with an evil or funny outcome. The more evil or funnier the corruption, the better.

Example:

Poster A: I wish I could fly
Poster B: Granted, you now have wings, but don't know how to use them, and fall to your death.

Then you make a wish for the next poster to corrupt.

I'll start.

I wish I was a Furry.

You are.

I wish I could hurl fireballs at my oppressors.

(P.S. I thought we already had a thread for this game?)

Granted, but a sudden gust of wind reflects the fireballs back at you.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you fly into busy airspace over JFK Airport and get sucked into a jet engine, being shredded by the fins and having the bloody spray of your entrails decorate the side of the plane like some twisted mural experiment.

I wish I was as cool as nickspoon.

Granted, but only for 15 minutes, then you become as cool as Avery.

I wish I could be a NASCAR driver.

Granted, but you find yourself on a highway instead of a racetrack. You are then pulled over by the police and thrown in jail for life.

I wish for eternal happiness.

Wish Granted!
But you can never go to sleep!

I wish I could meet Richard Dean Anderson!

Granted, but then he gets a restraining order against you, ordering you to stay at least 5 miles away from him from now on.

I wish I go into outer space.

Granted, but the farthest you will ever be able to go is low earth orbit, because space-technology stagnates.

I wish I could own my own internets.

Granted, but nobody but you goes near it, leaving you sad and internet-alone.

I wish I were as sweet as Osprey :3

Granted, but your brand of sweet comes from a headache inducing sweetness replacement which only fools others into thinking that you are sweet, while you are really a jerk.

I wish I could have three more wishes.

Granted, but you waste them on candy.

I wish I wasn't afraid of heights anymore.

Granted, but now you like hights so much that you develope a sexal attraction to falling and die in an unrelated incident.

I wish it was easer to play a fretless string instriment.

Granted, but you lose your fingers. And toes.

I wish for love

Granted, but then you catch an STD.

I wish for popcorn.