Home Owner's Association Rule Book

[IceDragon]

Make up as many rules as you can!<br><br>1) Lawns must be between 1.4896546565965965659516 inches tall and 1.4896546565965965659517 inches tall<br><br>2) Under no circumstances is one allowed to give Millicent Mudd and beverage which contains more than traces amounts of caffine or sugar.

[VisibilityMissing]

3) Lawn chairs, oil barrels, plastic flamingoes, empty beer kegs, old couches, and/or assorted junk may not be used to mark parking spaces (It goes without saying, this rules out the <a href='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... st&p=82601' target='_blank'>Big Giant X</a> from Taxiway Tango).<br><br>4) Lawns are limited to two (2) lawn gnomes. Any more will be promplty clamatoed.

[Tom Flapwell]

5) You may hang underpants on a clothesline only if they are size L or smaller. Anything bigger grosses us out.<br><br>6) Mailboxes may not have a barn motif. This isn't the Ozarks, people.

[Miles E Traysandor]

5. The number of Plushies allowed on any one bed is equal to the amount that can fit on said bed without falling on the floor. Anybody who thinks this number should be less is subject to be buried in said plushies until they change their mind.<br><br>6. During snowstorms and the immediate days thereafter, it you shovel out a spot, that spot belongs to you or anyone you might authorize to park there. If you find an unauthorized vehicle there, you have the right to bury said unauthorized vehicle in snow.

[Bocaj Claw]

7.) Anyone found TP'ing their own house shall be suject to The Stare.

[DesertFoxCat]

8. Large piles of dirt are prohibited with no exceptions. Having fun in said piles is prohibited doubley so.

[Tavis]

9. Curbs must be kept clean at all times. Foreign substances such as paint, ink, dyes, bleach, dirt, and grass overgrowth may not be on the curb. <br><br>10. Mailboxes may not be placed on posts or in large enclosures. They must instead be attached to the house.<br><br>11a. All address signage must be indicated using white paint either on the mailbox or on the curb. Numbering may not be attached to the house in any way.<br>11b. The numbers themselves must be white. The use of off-white, country white, beige, puse, dusty white, ecru, snow, linen, bisque, ivory, cream, cornsilk, seashell, azure, or thistle in particular is strictly prohibited.

[Miles E Traysandor]

12. If your first born son is not interested in the cute girl down the street, you will be considered Communist and will be excommunicated.<br><br>13. Use of the number 13 as a street address in any way is strictly prohibited. Those who might have 13 as an address, you get to use 14 or 15 instead.<br><br>14. Adress numbers containing the number '777' can only be used my multimillionaires. Corporations and businesses are not eligible unless they happen to be a casino.

[Richard K Niner]

15. No residents are allowed to work on their front lawn.<br>16. All lawns must be be perfectly green.<br>17. Pesticide use is strictly forbidden.

[TyVulpine]

18. Anyone living in a glass house MUST get dressed in the dark. In the Basement. NO EXCEPTIONS. Doubly so for obese people, and very ugly people.

[Rooster]

19. Fun of any kind is strictly forbidden, unless aproved of beforehand and signed by at least seven HOA leaders.<br><br>20. Knomes are hereby banned from all properties, unless displayed in an area hidden from sight of the street.<br><br>21. No ordering of Pizza, the delivery people's acne brings the hose prices down.

[DHLawrence]

22. The use of teleportation and religion is prohibited.

[Bocaj Claw]

23. In order to ensure the beauty and property values of our neighborhood, a strict "loud noises" ban will be enforced. Oy! You whispering! Thats infringing the ban, that is!

[Rooster]

24. Any CD within the property must be from an approved list of pleasant clasical music. No guitars allowed.<br><br>25. Any resident caught watching low-brow entertainment like Dharma and Greg, The Simpsons, or Family Guy will be subject to reveiw by the Home Owner's board.<br><br>26. Shorts are only to be worn with white socks and only between the hours of 9am and 6pm. Anyone caught before or after will have their lawn priveledges revoked.

[Richard K Niner]

27. Pie are square, not round. Display of round pies is strictly forbidden.