Define Cynical Fan Forums

True story.

How do I break the bad news to him without having him commit suicide?

This is not a joke post.

I don't know.


and speaking of this, you have to have him send you an e-mail so I can track down his info.

If I wanted to be theoretically talked out of suicide you'd be the last person I'd go to!

I'm afraid to give any advice because I might end up indirectly responsible for a Dane's suicide.

The worst thing you can do is just ignore him.

If I wanted to be theoretically talked out of suicide you'd be the last person I'd go to!

That's a really good choice.

True story.

How do I break the bad news to him without having him commit suicide?

This is not a joke post.

I don't know. I am trying to come up with an answer. My mind is running through dozens of different contingency plans... but they all seem to end with him committing suicide... could you, hmm, somehow have him meet with a fake you? Like a friend pretending to be you? (Serious suggestion.)

Pretend you have a penis.

I really can't think of anything better.

The Danes are a very odd species. They occasionally have large hands. Maybe this is information you can use.

Tricky. I'm trying, and utterly failing, to come up with some way you can tell him you CAN'T meet him without him killing himself. Terribly sorry. :\

I'm trying hard to come up with something, but without knowing a little bit more about the situation, particularly the details, (why is he suicidal? why does he want to meet you? how did you come to know this guy?) it's extremely hard, if impossible, to come up with an adequate solution.

I'm really sorry.

Maybe just tell him that "something's come up" etc. and that you can't meet him yet. Make it sound as though you really want to, but circumstances are preventing you from doing so, and hopefully he'll get over whatever's troubling him and stop being suicidal.

It's a risky thing to do though.

Thanks for the suggestions guise. I ended up writing him a message saying that I just simply never meet anyone in real life, which is pretty much true. I've been talking to local people online for YEARS and have not met them in real life, much less someone in Denmark who I have known for about a month. Really stressed that it was nothing personal.

Now this topic seems pointless. Let's make it about cartoon characters.

Yeah, I think that would be risky telling him that "something's come up." Depressed/suicidal people tend to be very paranoid about reasons why people don't want to be friends with them / hang out, etc. He'll probably see through it (even if it weren't true.)

Trust me, I know.

I would recommend urging him to get help immediately.

Edit: Nevermind. I think you handled it well.

Wile E. Coyote. That's all that needs to be said.

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