Fire the cheeseballs

Tom Flapwell · Postby **Tom Flapwell** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 6:34 pm

Cartoonist Kathy Garrison found this in an old book:

During a naval battle between Uruguay and Brazil in the 19th Century, the Uruguayan vessel ran out of shot. Its commander ordered the cannons to be loaded with Dutch cheeses. "They were too old and hard to eat anyway" he reasoned. When the Uruguayan ship opened fire, the first two volleys of cheese went wide of the mark, but subsequent shots crashed into the mast, shattering it, and tore gaping holes in the Brazilian ship's sails. Cheese shrapnel killed two sailors standing near the Brazilian admiral, who soon prudently ordered his ship to retire from engagement.

Bocaj Claw · Postby **Bocaj Claw** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 6:41 pm

Fire the cheeseballs would be a common turn of phrase if the evil Dutch media conspiracy hadn't prevented this from coming to light until today.

CodeCat · Postby **CodeCat** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 6:57 pm

You see why now? Never mind the weed, the cheese is far more dangerous!

A dude named Vince · Postby **A dude named Vince** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:17 pm

Now whenever I eat or see cheese, this is what I'll think of.

Rooster · Postby **Rooster** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:46 pm

I thought this was thread about discrimination against Itallians in the workplace.

I am shocked.

Bocaj Claw · Postby **Bocaj Claw** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:49 pm

Italians are called cheeseballs?

Muninn · Postby **Muninn** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:15 pm

Anyone who's read Asterix in Corsica knows that Corsican cheese is a deadly weapon with enough power to make whole ships explode.

Tom Flapwell · Postby **Tom Flapwell** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:41 pm

I thought this was thread about discrimination against Itallians in the workplace.

Might you be thinking of greaseballs, as used in The Godfather? "I don't care how many dago guinea wop greaseball gumbas come out of the woodwork!"

Steve the Pocket · Postby **Steve the Pocket** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:42 pm

I was about to misquote the line from The End of the World ("But I am le tired." "OK, then, have a nap THEN FIRE ZE CHEESEBALLS!") But then I remembered that it's actually been done: a friend of mine who was quoting the cartoon and didn't want to swear in public reworded the one line as "We got ze missiles are coming! Fire our cheese!"

Can't make cheese like this up, folks.

Kyler Thatch · Postby **Kyler Thatch** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:41 pm

For a moment there I thought someone made a pistol that shoots cheese puffs.

osprey · Postby **osprey** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:43 pm

For a moment there I thought someone made a pistol that shoots cheese puffs.

I'd buy one!

Doc Sigma · Postby **Doc Sigma** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:07 pm

I'd rather have a cheese puff that shoots pistols. That shoot cheese puffs.

GamemasterAnthony · Postby **GamemasterAnthony** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:35 pm

I forsee a Mythbusters episode based on this...

gforce422 · Postby **gforce422** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 4:22 pm

I'd rather have a cheese puff that shoots pistols. That shoot cheese puffs.

OK....

I had major deja vu from those two sentences. That scares me. Badly.

Doc Sigma · Postby **Doc Sigma** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:52 pm

I'd rather have a cheese puff that shoots pistols. That shoot cheese puffs.
OK....

I had major deja vu from those two sentences. That scares me. Badly.

My inspiration. (I don't think the cheesepuff-that-shoots-guns-that-shoot-cheesepuffs is actually on the list, though.)

Define Cynical Fan Forums

Fire the cheeseballs

Who is online