Jokes

Burning Sheep Productions · Postby **Burning Sheep Productions** » Fri Jan 16, 2004 12:55 pm

Okay, this time post some good ones, none of those ones like: Knock knock! Who's there? Peter. Peter who? Peter Pan! Haahaahaahaahaa... More like: Newfie gets a TV set. First time in his life he's ever had one and he spends all day and all night watching it. His wife finally decides she's had enough and decides to get a pet to keep her company. She goes to the pet store and looks around. Over in the corner she sees the biggest, ugliest bird she's ever seen. She asks the shop owner 'What in God's name is that thing?' "Why, that's a Crunch Bird," he replies. "What's a Crunch Bird?" the woman asks. "Here, I'll show you," the shop owner replies and picks up a wooden chair and sets it down beside the bird. In a clear voice he says "Crunch Bird...Crunch Bird that chair!" There's a flurry of feathers and sawdust and within seconds the bird is sitting on the floor surrounded by shavings. The chair is completely gone. The woman looks at it in astonishment then gets an idea. Crunch bird can crunch the TV. "Perfect!" she says to herself and buys the bird. When she gets home, sure enough, her husband is still watching TV. He looks up, sees the bird and says, "What is that ugly thing?" His wife says "Why, it's a Crunch Bird!" "Crunch Bird!?" laughs the husband. "Crunch Bird me arse!"

Zylo · Postby **Zylo** » Fri Jan 16, 2004 9:54 pm

I've got a ton that I can't share on this board. I do have a few appropriate ones, though. Three blondes are leaving the mall and notice they've locked the keys in their car. The first blonde tried to pick the lock with a hairpin and fails. The secong blonde tried to pick the lock with a wire coathanger and fails. The third blonde says "We'd better hurry up. It looks like rain and the roof is down on the convertable." Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Jerry Roosevelt · Postby **Jerry Roosevelt** » Fri Jan 16, 2004 10:25 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Ozymandias_the_great @ Jan 16 2004, 04:54 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> I've got a ton that I can't share on this board. I do have a few appropriate ones, though. Three blondes are leaving the mall and notice they've locked the keys in their car. The first blonde tried to pick the lock with a hairpin and fails. The secong blonde tried to pick the lock with a wire coathanger and fails. The third blonde says "We'd better hurry up. It looks like rain and the roof is down on the convertable." Thank you, I'll be here all week.  </td></tr></table>  Speaking of... How many blonde jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories.

Henohenomoheji · Postby **Henohenomoheji** » Fri Jan 16, 2004 11:08 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Monarx @ Jan 17 2004, 08:25 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'>  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Ozymandias_the_great @ Jan 16 2004, 04:54 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> I've got a ton that I can't share on this board. I do have a few appropriate ones, though. Three blondes are leaving the mall and notice they've locked the keys in their car. The first blonde tried to pick the lock with a hairpin and fails. The secong blonde tried to pick the lock with a wire coathanger and fails. The third blonde says "We'd better hurry up. It looks like rain and the roof is down on the convertable." Thank you, I'll be here all week. </td></tr></table>  Speaking of... How many blonde jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories.  </td></tr></table>  took me a while to catch that.... i feel drunk right now. but i can't be drunk because i have not ingested the proper mixture which intoxicates a person. so why do i feel so weird? maybe it's sleep deprivation?

simon · Postby **simon** » Sat Jan 17, 2004 1:23 am

<a href='http://forums.bit-tech.net/showthread.p ... adid=31206' target='_blank'>Best blonde joke EVER</a>. Hehehehe.

Burning Sheep Productions · Postby **Burning Sheep Productions** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 1:31 pm

I am smarter than that! HA HA HA HA!!

Ibon · Postby **Ibon** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 4:34 pm

This is a military joke, and I doubt many people will get it unless they know a few choice things. --- God looks down on the world one day and sees a group of Rangers rowing a raft across the ocean. They're going at a pretty good clip, but he decides to have a little fun. "I wonder what would happen if I took out half their brains?" He does so, and they double their pace, much to even his amazement. "Wow. That's incredible. Hmm...I wonder what would happen if I took the next step?" He once again removes a half of their brains, leaving them with nothing. And, once again, much to his amazement, they begin rowing twice THAT speed. Before he can do any more tests, however, he notices they've all begun singing a rather odd song. "From the halls of Montezuu~uma..." --- For those who don't get it, that's a part of the Marine's usual tune. Yes, I have people in the Army. We make fun of the Marines. I can't help it. I'm a mean person. ;_;

Elscire · Postby **Elscire** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 4:43 pm

Hmmn, god is a bit malicious isn't he, heh. And as for the blonde joke, yes, I caught it after the first link <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />

Zylo · Postby **Zylo** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 5:46 pm

I tried to see how far the blonde joke went, but after 3 links I got to a forum main page with no link.

Henohenomoheji · Postby **Henohenomoheji** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 8:58 pm

I was sleep-deprived (at least i think i was) at the time i tried the blond joke thingy, so i don't really remember what I did...

erikbarrett · Postby **erikbarrett** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 8:35 pm

3 guys walked into a bar and a fourth one ducked under it.

Salad Man · Postby **Salad Man** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 8:53 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... ... To get to the other side! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Elscire · Postby **Elscire** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 9:50 pm

You just couldn't resist, could you SaladMan <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... s/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' />

norsenerd · Postby **norsenerd** » Sun Feb 01, 2004 3:50 am

Knock Knock Who's there Knock Knock who Knock Knock Who's there Knock Knock who Knock Knock Who's there Knock Knock who Knock Knock Who's there Kn and ect.

erikbarrett · Postby **erikbarrett** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 7:05 pm

Knock Knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock Knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?!? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say apple? Orange - the perfect responce.

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