Define Cynical Fan Forums

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 12:14 am**

1. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 3. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 4. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 5. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 6. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, 'I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,' and see what happens. 7. Play with the automatic doors. 8. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, 'Who BUYS this crap, anyway?' 9. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a 'test drive.' 10. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, 'Wow.Magic!' 11. Put M&M's on layaway. 12. Move 'Caution: Wet Floor' signs to carpeted areas. 13. Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from the other aisles. 14. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, '...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!' 15. TP as much of the store as possible. 16. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 17. Play with the calculators so that they all spell 'hello' upside down. 18. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, 'Red Rover!' 19. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hiredemployees if there are any in stock, i.e., 'Do you have any Shnerples here?' 20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 21.While handling guns in the huntingdepartment, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 22. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 23. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission: Impossible.' 24. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 25. Say things like, 'Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?' 26. Set up a 'Valet Parking' sign in front of the store. 27. Two words: 'Marco Polo.' 28. In the auto department, practice your 'Madonna' look with various funnels. 29. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 30. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, 'No, no! It's those voices again!'

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 12:42 am**

BAD! BAD! BTW, why the "O" on the calculators? Additionally, 1. In the elecronics department shout "There's a new shipment of Nintendo DSs!!!" and get out of the way. 2. In the sportswares depatment ask which bullet models contain the most propellent, and then start acting suspicious. 3. Leave cryptic notes on the display computers. 4. Change the radio station on all the stereos to the most frequently FCC fined shock-jock morning show, and turn up the volume. 5. Use the button reset combinations to set the analog stick on all the video game systems to be calibrated that nuetral position is full forward, in the middle of a level, and leave it. Do the same if the game uses the other anilog stick to adjust the camera, except far right, making everyone that walks by dizzy. 6. Ask the person stocking the snacks department if it is true that you can make "hobo wine" out of Juicy Juice. 7. Take a black perminant marker and write "Ick" on each fish tank in the pet department. and "Rabbies", likewise on all the rodent cages. 8. Put roasted Madigascar Hissing Cockroaches all over the snack bar area. 9. Take hundreds of 5 cent stickers and scatter them on various product throughout the store. 10. Place a fake UPC code over the real code on a popular product. The UPC code should contain binary code for a profain statement.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 1:04 am**

heheheheheheheheh, I may have to try a few of these myself over break. Could prove to be interesting <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 1:39 am**

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Phauxe Kitsune @ Dec 18 2004, 08:04 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> heheheheheheheheh, I may have to try a few of these myself over break. Could prove to be interesting <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />  </td></tr></table>  Use reason, some of mine would blatently get you in trouble, others were a bit more held back. For instance, miscalibrating controllers on the game systems is easily reversable, and quite a riot. However, marking pets as diseased could get you in serious trouble.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 6:51 am**

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.</td></tr></table>  T_T the alarm clocks were RIGHT NEXT TO the photo lab! i'd kill you myself if you were to do that! it happened WAY too often!

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 8:23 am**

You know I have done a few of those.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 9:55 am**

Lol, the marco polo idea is the best!

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:33 am**

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Burning Sheep Productions @ Dec 19 2004, 04:55 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Lol, the marco polo idea is the best!  </td></tr></table>  I personally like the idea of setting the video games so the characters run around in circles, with the camera spinning, by miscalibrating the controllers.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 6:04 pm**

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Ruedii-X @ Dec 19 2004, 01:39 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Use reason, some of mine would blatently get you in trouble, others were a bit more held back. For instance, miscalibrating controllers on the game systems is easily reversable, and quite a riot. However, marking pets as diseased could get you in serious trouble.  </td></tr></table>  Don't worry; I wouldn't do anything to deliberatly get into trouble.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 7:30 pm**

The spirit of Millie lives in us all.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 8:56 pm**

Here's some more 1. Start Playing Calvinball 2. Ask the associate where the Grey Poupon is 3. Sample all the Air Fresheners 4. Go camping in the Camping department 5. Test the brushes and combs 6. Follow people and stay about 5 ft. behind them. Don't stop until they leave the store.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:05 pm**

Walk up to the automatic door, and pause as it opens. Step back slowly until you're just out of range, and repeat. As people walk past you say "Wow. Magic."

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:14 pm**

Ozymandias, Did you check the post record this morning? Anyways, How 'bout sticking an animatronic toy in front of the door motion detector so it keeps opening over and over again.

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:17 pm**

My my, haven't we been busy? lol that'd be funny. The other thing you can do is walk up to customer services, claim to be a store detective, and ask to see the manager. Then you can go on about all sorts <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /> If you're lucky they might try to fob you off with coupons!

Posted: **Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:18 pm**

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (IRT_BMT_IND @ Dec 19 2004, 03:56 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> 6. Follow people and stay about 5 ft. behind them. Don't stop until they leave the store.  </td></tr></table>  Been there, done that, wrote the howto. Still haven't gotten caught. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

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