Jokes

A place to talk about anything (that doesn't belong in the other forums).

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norsenerd
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Postby norsenerd » Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:57 am

Problems liek this aren't taken serousily enough. It's sad :-(.
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Postby MidnightRealism » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:55 am

*returns to the mic* Hey, folks, what's goin...<br><!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo--> <br>Jebus! What did you do to my audience?!

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Foxchild
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Postby Foxchild » Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:58 am

<!--QuoteBegin-Sabre+Feb 5 2004, 09:03 PM--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Sabre @ Feb 5 2004, 09:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> wooo. *hides* Is ADD even a real disease? I dont belive in it. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br> ... Ok, your about to recieve a ROYAL kicking! Well, maybe not you, but the doctors in this country who overdiagnos the ..... (riiiight, keep language clean! kinda a rough day...) <br><br>believe me, I know that I have ADD. As much as I try, I can only pay attention for so long, and thats not usualy for what would be considered a long time. Ask Midnight, or any miriad of my professors, my mother, father, my.. you get the idea.<br><br>ADD is over diagnosed, over treated, and also treated by means that do not, in my opinion, justify the ends(drugging a kid is NOT the thing to do, especially when said "medication" is a dirivitive of crack kokain. I do not lie about that, ritalin is evil) It is, however, a real condition. <br><br>ADD isn't just lack of attention, either. It also deals with matabolism rates and blood pressure in some cases. In these cases, blood pressure is abnormally, and sometimes dangerousely low. I've passed out once in part because of that. (the other parts were a: track practice and b: Dextrostat.. i though ritalyn was bad! this stuff... all i will say is pretty dots/coplors. Ugh, i just... ugh.) it's an inability to sit still for long at all. You'll notice movement of the hands or feet, or something else. <br><br>ADD is also effected by light patterns. Strobe lights will send any real ADD afflicted person into a hyperactive blur. I did that way before we found out I had ADD. what most people think of ADD is just easilly distracted, thats a large part of it, but thats just it, it's only part of it.<br><br>I understand where you might be coming from, but just know that the condition does exist, and that more than half of all diagnosed cases in the US are misdiagnosed cases of being a class clown.
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Burning Sheep Productions
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Postby Burning Sheep Productions » Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:42 pm

Once there was this guy who died, but he didn't want to die, and he begged and begged so they let him live longer as long as he didn't eat any peas because that's the number one thing he loves, eating peas.<br>So he lives his live, tourtured my not eating peas but still alive, and then one day he goes into this bar, and the bloke next to him says,<br>"Hey mate, you know that I should be dead by now?"<br>Interested he asks, "How come?"<br>"Well, I got stabbed by my wife so I went to that dead place but I dind't want to die, so they let me live longer as long as I didn't play golf becasue that's the thing I get all my enjoyment out of."<br>"Hey! Same here! Only I've been banned from having even a single pea and boy, after six years it kinda gets to ya."<br>"OH MY GOD!! EVERYONE GET SOME HIGH GROUND!! HE'S GONNA BLOW ANY MINUTE!!!"
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norsenerd
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Postby norsenerd » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:08 pm

Anothring thing that sucks is test anxaitey. I never had it beofr elast smeiester ans then it wasn't a big deal. Maybe it's beacuse I'm ill but today I had extreem test anxiety. Almost colapsed itno a ball in the middle of the test.
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norsenerd
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Postby norsenerd » Fri Feb 06, 2004 8:59 pm

Whats the sound of a donky beign hit by a truck?<br><br><br>Honky-tonk!<br><br><br><br>Edit: It's better if you can say "honkey-tonk" corectly. It's basicly the whole joke.
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Dr. Doog
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Postby Dr. Doog » Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:59 am

you mean when you almost hyperventilate?
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DCS should've ended the comic a year or two ago.

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Postby norsenerd » Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:26 am

I didn't hyperventalate but that would be test anxiety. I know how ot do the question, it was very abvious but I couldn't write it down. I almost knew what to write but I keped myself from knowing the exact answer. Very anoying. I was paniking too.
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Burning Sheep Productions
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Postby Burning Sheep Productions » Sat Feb 07, 2004 1:27 pm

Geeze, it's just a test, if you fail it doesn't mean your life is ruined, even if you're doing VCE or something, whatever your country has, just stop fretting so much.<br>Take teh test and get on with teh life.<br><br>Oh, and back on teh topic:<br><br><br>WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?<br><br>SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information<br>The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.<br><br>GEORGE W BUSH<br>We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.<br><br>COLIN POWELL<br>Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of<br>the chicken crossing the road.<br><br>TONY BLAIR<br>I agree with George.<br><br>HANS BLIX<br>We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been<br>allowed to have access to the other side of the road.<br><br>DR SEUSS<br>Did the chicken cross the road?<br>Did he cross it with a toad?<br>Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.<br><br>MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR<br>I envisage a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without<br>having their motives called into question.<br><br>GRANDPA<br>In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.<br>Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.<br><br>TRICIA<br>Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the<br>chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its dream of crossing the road.<br><br>JOHN LENNON<br>Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.<br><br>ARISTOTLE<br>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.<br><br>KARL MARX<br>It was an historic inevitability.<br><br>RONALD REAGAN<br>What chicken?<br><br>SIGMUND FREUD<br>The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road<br>reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.<br><br>BILL GATES<br>eChicken2004 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your<br>important documents, and balance your checkbook - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.<br><br>ALBERT EINSTEIN<br>Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the<br>chicken?<br><br>BILL CLINTON<br>What is your definition of chicken?<br><br>THE BIBLE<br>And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.<br><br>COLONEL SANDERS<br>Did I miss one?<br><br>HOMER SIMPSON<br>Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n
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norsenerd
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Postby norsenerd » Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:38 pm

BSP. You are a jerk. I know it's jsut a test and imedatly befroe and after I was fine. The time spent taking the test was hell. I know my feer was irrational partyl because it wasn't important at all. But feers are often irrational. I can't help it. You might but I'm not you!
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Dr. Doog
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Postby Dr. Doog » Sat Feb 07, 2004 10:02 pm

norse: i meant the voice for your joke you have to sound like you're hyperventilating!
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DCS should've ended the comic a year or two ago.

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simon
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Postby simon » Sat Feb 07, 2004 11:48 pm

Okay everyone, don't get too upset with each other. You don't want me to get out the padlock do you? :P

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norsenerd
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Postby norsenerd » Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:00 am

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OK then.<br><br><br><br><br><br>No<br><br><br><br>Honky like a donkey and then tonk like a truck.
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Dr. Doog
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Postby Dr. Doog » Sun Feb 08, 2004 2:24 am

yes, and i suppose when you say it you make anoise AS THOUGH you are hyperventilating, while still saying honkytonk. you said you needed to say it right when you told it.
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DCS should've ended the comic a year or two ago.

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norsenerd
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Postby norsenerd » Sun Feb 08, 2004 2:48 am

Hyperventalating is rather quiet in fact. Or at-least has been my experiance. YOu have to make it sound like a donkyey geting hit bu a truck.
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