How old are people here?

[Bocaj Claw]

May 20thing isn't that bad. Its the wombats you've got to watch out for. They can smell 20.

[nickspoon]

I am still seventeen. Just an update, guys.

You lie; you are a forty-two year old man with no hair who lives in my neighbour's boat. I have reasoned this from months of careful deduction and record-keeping, but mostly irrational, mind-destroying, insomnia-inducing paranoia.

I have proximity detectors and robotic arms built into my nostrils. If you dare come near me, you'll be killed at their cold metallic hands. You will watch, helpless, as their shiny joints extend towards you, their razor-fingers snapping at the air, hungry for the taste of human blood. They will pierce your chest, leaving a perfect wound. You won't bleed.

You'll die instantly, just a brief spur of excruciating pain as your body is pierced by titanium travelling at seventy miles per hour.

I'll break your life. I'll break it so much.

[Angstwolf]

Whoa, cool!

That's exactly how I've always wanted to die.

[Fritz]

16 going on 16 and a half

[Doc Sigma]

16 going on 16 and a half

Then here is A PRESENT FOR YOU