Wal-Mart Pranks

Ozymandias · Postby **Ozymandias** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:21 pm

lol Walk up to people at the back of the store, tell them enthusiastically thast they're the millionth customer and win a great prize, and direct them to customer service desk on another floor, if it's got many floors, or on the other side of the floor if not. Either way, a long walk away - just make sure you're a long walk away when they get back!

Softpaw · Postby **Softpaw** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:05 am

I wouldn't try any of these myself. The list is so well-known that I'd imagine every English-speaking Wal-Mart worker knows when they're being pranked, no matter how straight-faced you are.

ShadOtterdan · Postby **ShadOtterdan** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:31 am

Grab two empty halves of coconut from the vegetable isle and start galloping around, if anyone asks where you got them, say Mercia.

Supersmoke · Postby **Supersmoke** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 3:43 pm

Things I've actually done in a Wal-Mart. Mind you, I've only been banned from one Wal-Mart. But I've been kicked out multiple times. 1. Go up to an employee and say "I believe we have a code orange." 2. Fill your arms up with items and put your wallet in the fly of your pants. Then go up to the casier and tell them to grab your wallet for you. 3. (my personal favorite) Get a casaba melon, and go into the bathroom. Wait in the stall until a few people are in bathroom with you. Then stand on the toilet and drop it in the bowl. After the ensuing splash say in a very loud voice, "OH DEAR SWEET JESUS!!" 4. Put pillows under your shirt and go up to random people saying, "HEY HEY HEY!!" 5. Moonwalk through the store. And spin and grab your crotch at intersections when your're changing direction. 6. Take a dump in the tp section and use the tp. If someone yells at you, tell them, "HEY! CAN'T A GUY TAKE A DUMP IN PRIVACY! JESUS CHRIST!" Yes I have this. 7. Lie down in the store. Anywhere. Doing it several times in one visit is better. 8. Get a wheelbarrow from the store. Then go around using it like a real cart. Then go up to an employee and say, "You know what? Your carts SUCK!" 9. Grab a pair of boxer shorts and put them on your head. Then go up to random people saying, "Meesa Jar Jar Binks!" 10. Stand in front of the gum and candy bar next to the registers making random sounds. I once did this for 2 hours straight before someone stopped me. 11. Try on bras on the outside of your clothes. If you're a guy, say something like, "Yeah. I used to be a woman." 12. (I've actually gotten away with this and not been caught.) Go to the shoe department. Put on a new pair of shoes and put your old ones in the box. 13. Re-enact the chocolate milk commercials. So far I've done the stereo one and the one where the dude rips of the UPC code on the bottle when goes to the register. 14. Bring in your own music (perferably profane or incredibly heavy music) and blast it on the stereos. 15. Wear a sign on your back that says, "Under my clothes, I'm naked!" 16. Bring your own smiley stickers and hand them out a few feet away from the entrance.

Ozymandias · Postby **Ozymandias** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 6:20 pm

You can also "borrow" their tables, and put them in any aisle, really, then move what's on the shelves behind you onto the tables. Either bring a sign or make one there which claims that your "borrowed" tables and goods are "So-and-so & Sons" Market retail business. When you get asked to leave, start shouting about how chain stores are always crushing small, family-run businesses. I have actually ridden around a shop on a bicycle before.

Supersmoke · Postby **Supersmoke** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 11:26 pm

I remember last year, some college guys had a kegger party in the corner of a Wal-Mart close to where I live.

Ruedii-X · Postby **Ruedii-X** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:29 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Supersmoke @ Dec 20 2004, 06:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> I remember last year, some college guys had a kegger party in the corner of a Wal-Mart close to where I live.  </td></tr></table>  Ask in the electronics department if they have a copy of The Legend of Zelda: The Wand of Goradon, and then when they don't recognize the title, have them leave a note for the next Nintendo rep that comes by. (Nintendo fans will get this joke. It was the worst Zelda game ever produced. It was made under a shakey license by Phillips for the CD-I.) Needless to say, when he asks the Nintendo reps about the game, they will probably crack up laughing.

Muninn · Postby **Muninn** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 9:20 pm

For the seriously brave/stupid... Run up and down the aisles impersonating Millie's impersonation of Madonna. If you like, keep your underwear on.

Ruedii-X · Postby **Ruedii-X** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 11:30 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Jacob @ Dec 21 2004, 04:20 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> For the seriously brave/stupid... Run up and down the aisles impersonating Millie's impersonation of Madonna. If you like, keep your underwear on.  </td></tr></table>  That falls under seriously stupid.

IRT_BMT_IND · Postby **IRT_BMT_IND** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 1:39 am

In the car audio section, put one of those huge subwoofers that you put in the trunk of a car on full volume and bass, and play the loudest, most abnoxious, techno music you can find on it. I did this, but not in a Wal-Mart (actually in a Best Buy) and almost got kicked out.

Ruedii-X · Postby **Ruedii-X** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 2:00 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (IRT_BMT_IND @ Dec 21 2004, 08:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> In the car audio section, put one of those huge subwoofers that you put in the trunk of a car on full volume and bass, and play the loudest, most abnoxious, techno music you can find on it. I did this, but not in a Wal-Mart (actually in a Best Buy) and almost got kicked out.  </td></tr></table>  My brother would KILL you, he used to have to put up with that in the Best Buy he worked at. Unfortunately the workers were the ones doing it!!! He just turned up the computer speakers in his department, and they ended up having a battle. I wonder if that's how all the car audio speakers got blown out at his store. He quit when area management changed and they brought in a boss who decided he was the perfect "work slave" and took credit for everything my brother did. Three more managers came in and did the same thing. My brother was a management genius, and these bosses, all female, were total corporate loosers, who were best discribed as snakes.

Rod Beauvex / Marble Didy · Postby **Rod Beauvex / Marble Didy** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:03 am

Can you put M&Ms in Layaway? Those were funny. I once got stuck between automatic doors in a Meijer once when I was little. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

Holyman83 · Postby **Holyman83** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:09 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Ruedii-X @ Dec 21 2004, 06:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'>  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Jacob @ Dec 21 2004, 04:20 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> For the seriously brave/stupid... Run up and down the aisles impersonating Millie's impersonation of Madonna. If you like, keep your underwear on. </td></tr></table>  That falls under seriously stupid.  </td></tr></table>  or young I bet you could get a ten year old to do it easy with money. might want to make sure his/her parents are not in the area thou.

Burning Sheep Productions · Postby **Burning Sheep Productions** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 10:52 am

Ucgh, that's something I'd not wanna see... 'specially after seeing it enough in the Muslem cities in China, *Shudders.*...

Rod Beauvex / Marble Didy · Postby **Rod Beauvex / Marble Didy** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 1:30 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Burning Sheep Productions @ Dec 22 2004, 10:52 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Ucgh, that's something I'd not wanna see... 'specially after seeing it enough in the Muslem cities in China, *Shudders.*...  </td></tr></table>  Which is why you have it in your avatar? <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />

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